Alrate, so here’s the score knobheads… that posh cunt who used to introduce these things? Aye, he’s done one. Not sure what happened to tell ya the truth, an to be honest, am hopin’ that he’s just done a runner ‘cause a’ve got this creepin’ suspicion that we might’ve left him somewhere in storage an’ forgot about ‘im, but we’ll say n’more about that just in case.
So anyroad, welcome back knobheads! Ya missed us? Ha, daft question really, course you ‘ave, we’re awesome us! Ya wunt be ‘uman if ya din’t miss me an’ that southern softie Johnny! A waint bore ya wi’ tales’a where we’ve been like, ‘cause a’ve got a nice cold pint waitin’ for me when a finish this, so instead am just gonna tell ya to sit darn an’ enjoy the fact that Moustache Ride are well an’ truly back an’ rarin’ to go! An’ we brought a friend wi’ us as well… oh it’s gonna be fun, a can tell ya that for nowt! Anywho, like a said, cold pint. So fuck off yeah? Go on, fuck off. Alright, fine, I’ll fuck off then. Inabit!
“Right, listen up you’s two, a don’t want you makin’ a plonker’a me when we go in, alright?” Tommy Cook asked, his thick Brummie still evident despite living in America for two years now. In fact, because he’s that much of an arsehole, it’s possible that the accident is even thicker than it once was, probably to make some sort of point though god knows what that would be. The place mentioned by Tommy however, is the house belonging to none other than former SCW star and wrestling royalty, Lucas Knight, in California. Don’t ask where, I’ve forgotten. Probably somewhere up-scale and expensive though, because he likes to flash the cash. “A mean it like, a don’t want you’s two makin’ me look like a dickhead when we go in there, so try not to act like a pair of twats, alright?” Tommy reiterated to a hurt and offended looking Tommy Wasley and Johnny Taylor.
“Us mate? Make you look like a dickhead? Naaaaahhhh, we wouldn’t do that. Would we Tom?” Johnny asked, shaking his head with the honesty and integrity of a career criminal caught red handed in the middle of a burglary, wearing a black and white stripped t-shirt and holding a hessian sack with “Swag” written on the side in marker pen.
“Absolutely not sunshine!” Wasley replied, joining his tag partner in shaking his head with so little integrity that we could possible upgrade the burglary to be taking place in Fort Knox instead. For added value, as it were. “Nah, me an’ Johnny ‘ere, we wunt even dream of doin’ owt to make ya look like a twat… that ain’t in our nature mate, not at all…”
Cook was clearly skeptical. In fact, he wasn’t skeptical, he just flat out didn’t believe them. He knew them too well to believe a word they told him but he couldn’t help it; they’ve overheard Lucas on the phone when he had called Cook earlier that day, asking the Brummie to come see him when he had some time and there was no way in hell that the pair would miss out on tagging along! “Just… just try not to be too fuckin’ stupid, alright?” Tommy said, shaking his head as he turned to the door of Lucas’ home and wrapped on the wood three times.
“Can ya believe it mate? Us. At Lucas Knight’s gaff! I tell ya, if I weren’t here doing it, I’d never believe it!” Johnny said in a hushed whisper that did nothing to cover his excitement at the current situation they found themselves in as they waited by the door. “We’ll be rubbing shoulders with all the top stars now Tommy’s along for the ride, it’s gonna be great!”
“I, a know pal!” Wasley replied, grinning as they heard footsteps on the other side of the door. “Ooh, someone’s comin’. Remember flower, play it cool an’ all that bollocks,” he said, running a hand over his beard to smooth it down before adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt.
The door opened and before Cook could say a single word, Wasley and Taylor barged him out of the way and sent him falling flat on his arse as they began to immediately pelt a very confused looking Lucas Knight with questions and comments galore. Lucas looked on in bewilderment as the two members of Moustache Ride welcomed themselves inside of his home and started looking around the hallway, in awe at absolutely everything. Well, compared to a Winnebago any house with four walls not attached to a chasis is bound to impress and this was a bloody mansion! “Fuckin’ amateurs,” Cook said, sighing to himself as he took Lucas’ outstretched hand and got back to his feet.
“These are some pretty fancy digs, mate!” Johnny said as they led themselves on an unplanned and unwelcomed tour of Lucas’ home not long after entering. Lucas was frowning as he followed them, still not quite sure what was happening but about ready to tell them to fuck off out of his house.
“Aye, ya not kiddin’ flower, this is swanky as fuck Lucas. Proper posh an’ stuff!” Wasley added, definitely impressed with the surroundings. And then his face lit up as if he has a sudden idea. You could practically see the lightbulb. “Ere, do you ‘ave one’a them rooms wi’ all ya titles an’ all the mem’robelia an’ shit in it?! A bet ya do, the amount’a stuff you did over the years. Gis w look!” The rounder of the two Thomas’ said, eagerly.
Lucas looked at the hairier half of the Moustache Ride lads for a second or two, as if he was contemplating the request before he stiffly replied in a single monotonous “No,”. His voice was devoid of emotion as he said it and he quickly turned to look at Cook. “Who the fuck are these chuckleheads anyway, mate? Far as I were aware, I asked you round, not you and a couple of bums found on the street,” Lucas said before turning to look at Tommy and Johnny, as if he was about to say ‘no offence’ before thinking twice about it and turning back to face Cook. “And if I want people to blow smoke up my arse mate, I’ll let fans come talk to me at a signing, not invite me round to my gaff so they can give me opinions that I don’t give a toss about…”
“Well ain’t that just charming, mate?!” Johnny said, but Lucas turned and glared at him, silencing him in a heartbeat.
“If I want your opinion sunshine, I’ll slap it out of you,” he said to Johnny before turning to Wasley. “And I don’t want you to even open your mouth mate, because you remind me of Ryan Watson and one of him is more than enough so just keep it shut, alright? Ah!” he added, raising a finger as Wasley went to open his mouth to respond before snapping his mouth closed again. The two Moustache Ride boys stood looking at Lucas, dejected and upset and Lucas just glared back at them, Tommy Cook watching over his shoulder… and then Lucas’ face split into a grin, chuckling to himself. “Fucking hell, you two should be able to see your faces right now. Come on lads, I’m fucking with you. Lighten up, would ya?”
“You bastards!” Johnny said, relief washing over his face as he grinned. Tommy looked like he was about to have a heart attack, wiping his brow, clearly relieved too.
“Ya had us goin’ for a minute th—” Wasley started to say but Lucas held up a hand.
“Actually mate, I really would prefer if you kept your mouth shut,” Lucas said, completely deadpan. “You genuinely do remind me of Ryan and one of him’s bad enough, let alone two…”
“Watson can fuck off, the tosser,” Wasley said, frowning. “Sheffield wanker, thinkin’ he’s all that ‘cause he’s from the city an’ I’m just from a town. Knobhead.”
Lucas raised a brow before chuckling. “Guess he ain’t a fan,” he said to Cook behind him and Tommy Cook just shrugged his shoulders.
“I’m not one either, so I can’t say I blame him,” Cook said, and Lucas nodded his head, understanding all too well why that may be the case. “Anyway, now you’d had ya fun, what is it you actually wanted me round here for, ey? You’s said something about a favour?”
“Yeah, I did,” Lucas confirmed, nodding. “Come on, coffee’s brewing,” he added before leading them back the way they’d just come from. A minute later, they were in the kitchen of Lucas’ place and he was fixing drinks for the other three, his own half-drunk coffee sat on the kitchen counter which he topped up before pouring for the others. “So, I guess I’ve got a favour to ask of the three of you really, given you brought the Chuckle Brother’s with you Tom,” he said, his back to the three members of Strong Style. Wasley and Johnny looked at each other simultaneously and were clearly trying to figure out which of them was Paul and which was Barry. British reference, don’t worry if you don’t get it. “I dunno if you’ve heard the rumours about my sister Ivy, but she’s gonna be returning to the ring. Got the itch to compete again I guess, but she doesn’t want to rush into the big leagues where she belongs as a member of the Knight family… so she’s heading up to Canada to sign with Emerge.”
“Bloody ‘ell, she’ll freeze her tits off in the winter up there,” Cook said as he accepted one of the mugs that Lucas carried to the kitchen table. “Then again, I froze my bollocks off in Detroit and so did you, so who am I to comment, ey?”
“Yeah well, least said about that shithole the better,” Lucas said, of course talking about Motor City Wrestling. “As for Ivy, she’s a law unto herself. She could have wandered straight into SCW if she wanted, wouldn’t even need my help to get a contract, but she’s gone to Emerge and it’s her choice at the end of the day…”
“And it’s probably a smart move anyway,” Cook said, putting his mug back down. “Give it six months, she’ll be the star of the show and have offers coming in left right and centre, won’t she. Then she can go anywhere and earn big money…”
“Yeah, she probably can,” Lucas said, nodding. “But she could have done that anyway, in my view. Only reason I can see is that she’s worried about ring rust… which is where you three chuckleheads come in.”
The three Strong Style members look at one another before back to Lucas. “Us? Why, what do we have to do with it?” Johnny asked, the other two thinking exactly the same.
“Well, you two are still technically signed with Emerge, ain’t ya?” Lucas replied, motioning to Wasley and Johnny. “And you… well, I dare say Emerge would snap up a former MCW champ if they had the opportunity to do so,” he added, pointing at Cook.
“Yeah, but, what’s that got to do wi’—” Wasley started to say, pausing as Lucas raised an eyebrow at him but the Yorkshireman decided to ignore the warning this time. “No, seriously, what’s that gotta do wi’ Ivy an’ her signin’ wi’ Emerge, eh?”
“Ain’t it obvious?” Cook asked and all eyes turned to him as he looked at Lucas for confirmation. “He wants us in Emerge in order to keep an eye on her, don’t ya?”
“Got it in one,” Lucas said, pointing a finger at the Brummie in a ‘bingo’ kind of gesture. “I know she’s a world class talent, but I wouldn’t be a proper big brother if I wasn’t looking out for her wellbeing. And as daft as these two may be at times, I trust you mate,” he went on, motioning to Cook. “And if you trust these two, then I trust them as well.”
“Aww shucks,” Johnny said, grinning with pride as a London legend paid him such praise.
“Fear not pal, CTW Enterprises’ll take good care’a ya sister!” Wasley said, grinning broadly. Lucas gave him a frown, but it was Cook who spoke up.
“CTW Enterprises? The fuck you’s talking about?” the brummie asked, puzzled.
“Cook Taylor Wasley Enterprises,” Wasley said smartly. “Us, ya tit!” he added, motioning to the three of them, as if it was painfully obvious and Tommy Cook was an idiot for not following along. “Jesus, do I ‘ave to spell it out all the bloody time?!”
“Well, when ya go making shit up like that, is there any wonder we don’t have a fucking clue what ya talking about?” Cook asked, rolling his eyes.
“And I know what you two are like, so don’t get any ideas about what taking good care of my sister means,” Lucas warned, threateningly. Evidently the Moustache Ride legend preceded them. “All I want you to do is keep an eye on her and make sure nobody tries anything to screw with her career, alright? She’s a hell of a wrestler and deserves the opportunity to do big things. You three can ensure the playing field remains even.”
Wasley and Johnny had chests so swollen with pride that they may just explode, but Cook just nodded his head. He may be part of the trio known as Strong Style, had been since the UK independent days. But he was also a part of Monarchy when MCW was still open and he was proud of that. “You can rely on us mate, we’ll make sure that her matches are a foregone conclusion. Anyone messes with her, they’ll have us to answer to…” he said, taking things way more seriously than perhaps was warented, but Lucas just nodded his head.
“Glad to hear it mate. Appreciate it,” he said, picking up his coffee before seemingly changing his mind and putting it back down on the table. “Fuck it, it’s never too early to crack open a beer, it’s five o’clock somewhere right now, I’m sure. Gents?” he asked and the three men all nodded. And that was that. Lucas pushed up from his seat and wandered to the fridge, grabbing four bottles of beer before carrying them to the table. They all opened the bottles and Wasley and Johnny enthusiastically held the bottles out. Lucas and Cook shared a looked and Cook rolled his eyes as Lucas smirked, but the two men lifted their bottles too and clinked them together. A true toast to cement a deal. I dunno about you though… but what I’m interested in, is how Ivy is going to feel about this when she finds out. Something to look forward to, I’m sure…
[REC]
“Nah then, dickheads! Did ya miss us? Course ya did, we’re bloody amazin’ us, the Moustache Ride; we mek everythin’ more entertainin’ don’t we? Me an’ Johnny Taylor, the stars’a the show, wi’out a doubt!
An’ what considerate lads we are, bringin’ the lovable rogue Tommy Cook wi’ us this time an’ all, the leader’a the British Strong Style movement in MCW before it shut it’s doors… an’ opened em… an’ shut em again, opened ‘em, shut ‘em, in out in out shake it all a’bart. Like a fuckin’ revolvin’ door ova theer actually, nah a come to think a’bart it!
But ‘ey, the less said the better about that, eh? ‘Cause it’s this place that matters an’ boy, ain’t you lot lucky, eh? ‘Cause this comin’ Monday, you get to see Johnny Taylor an’ Tommy Wasley, The Moustache Ride, face off against Emerge’s one an’ only Fartbreakers!”
Wasley smiles broadly, before suddenly bringing a hand to one ear, as if listening to a voice in an earpiece. His face screws up in confusion and then he suddenly looks embarrassed.
“Ah… sorry lads, seems a’ve gone an’ made a goof, dunt it? A meant to say the Heartbreakers, obviously. Sorry, no offence meant an’ all that…”
He winks conspiratorially before getting back to the task at hand.
“Dunno if it’s just me though, but am gonna be ‘onest, am slightly irritated by the fact that these two numpty’s are callin’ ‘emselves The Heartbreakers when it’s painfully obvious that the only two strappin’ young lads around ‘ere that go breakin’ ‘earts every single week is yours truly an’ me tag partner Johnny.
Don’t wanna go pissin’ on anyone’s chips or owt, but just figured ad point that out, tha knows? A mean, last thing Emerge want is for millions of birds around the world to be filin’ lawsuits an’ what not; false advertisin’ is serious business an’ am sure our new gaffer Drew waint want to start things off wi’ a bunch’a court cases, will he?
But it’s alrate nah lads, ‘cause a’ve pointed out the error’a ya ways an’ all can be rectified. Ya welcome!
But let’s get down’ta business, shall we? ‘Cause we ain’t here to talk about lawsuits an’ shitty false advertisin’, we’re ‘ere’ta talk about this match, an’ am sorry lads, but the truth is, a’ve got nowt but sympathy fo’ thar too, ‘cause you’re the poor bastards that get fed to us in our first match ‘ere in fuckin’ months, which means you’re the poor lambs led to slaughter as we remind all you lads an’ lasses that Moustache Ride aren’t just ‘ere for laughs, but for wins an’ all!
We dint just swan into this place after graduatin’ wrestlin’ school boys, we honed our craft over years’a workin’ together as a team, learnin’ to trust one another, learnin’ to rely on one another!
We bust our balls, payin’ our dues on the indy scene back home in England, an’ then we came ‘ere, seekin’ our fame an’ fortune an’ a crack at the big time! An’ a waint comment on the fact that Emerge may be gettin’ bought out an’ waint be anythin’ to do wi’ SCW anymore, ‘cause fuck knows what Emerge will turn in’ta after, but here’s the thing boys…
…me an’ Johnny ain’t ‘ere to play at wrestlin’ an’ earn some brass, we’re ‘ere to succeed! We ain’t got braggin’ rights about who trained us, we ain’t come from a top school or owt, we dragged ourselves from the ground up to be ‘ere, an’ am sorry lads but as much as ya may fancy ya chances this week, it waint be happ’nin’ at our expense!
An’ while a made jokes about ya tag name earlier in his thing, let’s be serious for a minute lads. Come Emerge on Monday? The only’ns that are gonna be ‘earbroken are you too, an’ for me an’ the southern softie, the Ride starts up again. An’ this time, it doesn’t stop until we get to the very top of the mountain an’ hold that gold! So get used to seein’ this mug around folks, ‘cause me an’ Johnny… we’re bringin’ the Strong Style to Emerge an’ we’re gonna be tag champs before ya know it! See if am lyin’…”
[/REC]
