We click play on the video and as we do, a small loading icon appears in the middle of the blank screen, turning slowly as the video buffers for a moment before fading out as the video finally begins to play. And now that it's playing, the first thing we see is none other than Supreme Championship Wrestling star and member of the Helms Dynasty himself, Jason Helms, standing in what we know to be the home-office inside of his home in Aurora, just outside of New Orleans. He stands in the middle of the shot wearing… well, something of a strange outfit to say the least. Atop his head is an oversized green top hat with a big ribbon tied around it and sewing needles stuck in it at various places. He has a bright orange wig on, which sticks out from all sides beneath the hat and has fake bushy orange eyebrows stuck over his own brows beneath. It isn’t just his headwear that draws the eye though; he wears a chequered waistcoat and pinstripe trousers, with an oversized bow tie and a green felt knee length overcoat to complete the ensemble. In one swift motion, Jason grabs the brim of the top hat and bows theatrically to the camera as it begins to roll and as he straightens up, he grabs hold of the lapels of his jacket with both hands and a date stamp appears in the bottom left hand side of the screen reading [04.06.2020] as he begins to speak. “You’re late, you know?” Jason says, tutting. “That’s ever so naughty of you!” he adds, chuckling to himself. “You missed tea… everybody already left, you really did miss out! But hey ho, you’re here now, that’s what matters isn’t it?! Oh yes! And you’re probably wondering what’s going on, I’d be surprised if you weren’t. Why the get up, why the outlandish clothes and this magnificent hat,” he says, bringing one hand up to flick the brim of the top hat he wears before grabbing his lapel again. “And between me and you guys, the answer to that one is simple. Sometimes in life, if you can’t beat them, the only answer is to join them, right? And no, before you start getting any ideas about this being my way of saying that I don’t think I can beat Giovanni Aries or that the Handsome Devils Club can’t beat The Wonderland, that’s not what I’m saying! No, what I mean is that… well, I dunno if you guys have noticed this, but,” he says, pausing to look around conspiratorially before turning back to the camera. And then the scene cuts so that his face is now in extreme closeup and those glorious fake eyebrows can be seen in all their glory. “Giovanni Aries is just a little bit crazy, ahaHAhahaHa,” he whispers before laughing, somewhat crazily himself. His hand then appears in the shot, shifting the focus from his face to his hand where he holds finger and thumb a few millimeters apart. The shot then cuts back to the original angle with Jason standing in front of the desk in full view of the camera. “So I decided, I said to myself, you know Jase, the only way to beat Giovanni Aries is to be Giovanni Aries… so I decided to be as mad as a hatter, yep! And now here we are, you’re late, I’m overdressed and what are we to do about this whole Wonderland situation, huh?!”

Jason throws his hands up theatrically, clearly lost for an answer as he shrugs before folding his arms back in to grab at the lapels of his jacket again. “Do you know what the hardest part of dealing with crazy is, folks? No, it isn’t their madcap antics, their unhinged actions… it isn’t the deranged ramblings that leave the listener with more questions than answers, nope! No, the hardest part of dealing with crazy is that the unstable don’t actually realise that they’re just that! Yep, the most difficult part is that you talk to someone who is off their rocker and to them, you’re the crazy one! Here I stand, knowing that in all contexts of the word - current presentation not included - there is no way in hell that anyone could look at the insanity that Giovanni Aries spouts on a regular basis and not believe him to be completely out of his head… but in his mind, he is one hundred percent right about everything! You call Gio crazy, and what happens? We’re a Judas. We’re a servant of the Lizard King! We’re a nonbeliever, a charlatan, a fraud, we’re the crazy one’s! But Gio? Nope! He looks you right in the eye and says ‘Me? Crazy?! I should get off this unicorn and slap you!’, because in his mind, he’s the normal one and it’s the rest of the world that’s absolutely bananas!” he says, before grabbing the hat from his head and tossing it off camera. And then with the magic of editing, the scene cuts to show Jason back to his usual self. The wig is gone, the eyebrows gone, the whole constume has gone and he’s now wearing his usual outfit of jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt, which this week sports a “Lizard Club” motif on the front. “Remember this shirt? I released this thing in the early days of my time in SCW, when it was cool to rip on Gio just because he seemed like a fucking fruitloop, before I got to know the guy and confirmed that he was one! Yeah, you got me Gio, so go ahead and throw around the same fucking insults bro, the same accusations you’ve been making for weeks now, that I never really supported you, never really believed… but let me make it easier for you going forward, by admitting that you are absolutely right Gio, I never believed in the crap you talked about the Wonderland and the fight against the Lizard King that you claimed was the most important thing in the damn world… never believed a fucking word of it! Why the hell would the Lizard King be a guy running a wrestling company, when it’s obvious that it would probably be the Queen of England or the fucking president, someone with actual power! That just goes to show how mental you really are, Aries, even if you will probably have some sort of asinine explanation that the King likes to hide in less obvious places or some shit…”

Jason rolls his eyes before yawning theatrically, trying to make a point. With a shake of his head he turns his attention back to the camera. “Do you know what I did believe in though Gio?” he asks, as he slips one hand into the pocket of his jeans and brings his other hand up to point at the camera. “You!” he says, emphasising the point. “You can say whatever the fuck you want about how I didn’t believe in the wonderland or any of the things you preached, but the one thing I did believe in was Giovanni Aries! You can mock me all you want, you can get as preachy as you like about me because I don’t fit into your narrow viewpoint of what a person should be, but I didn’t just invest money in allowing you to spread your message bro, I invested my time in you when everyone was telling me that I should leave you the fuck alone, that I shouldn’t touch you with a barge pole. I believed in you Gio, because I thought you were good for this company, good for this business! Did you say some crazy shit? Sure. But a lot do. And you have to look past the nonsense to get the truth sometimes, I was able to do that… but generally speaking Aries, I believed that you brought something to the table that this place needed at the time, and call me a nonbeliever or a heretic or a idolater if you want, but I was there for you and now you throw that back in my face as if I’m the one to blame for you going off the deep end and becoming to indoctrinated by your own bullshit that you can’t tell fantasy from reality anymore? Go fuck yourself!” Jason says with real passion behind his words, a real sense of belief in what he is saying. “You disappeared and returned twice before I was considered fit enough to work again Gio, and while I may have chose to return with my brother and friend instead of you - why would I return with you when you fucking ghosted me for eighteen months anyway - the first thing you do when I return is to go right after the fucking guy who stood by you! You went after me, Dave and Lucas, sending Ames and Adams after us before finally emerging from the fucking woodwork yourself… and look at you, loving every god damn second as the puppet master or better yet, the ringmaster, organising your clowns and keeping the show on the road! You barely let them speak, and when they do, their words stink of Giovanni Aries bullshit, wonderland propaganda that you spoon fed them, shovelled down their throat even, because you want the world in your imagine bro, not the Wonderland’s image… though let’s face it, you created the whole fucking thing anyway, so aren’t they one in the same?!”

“Last week, your boy Cain went one on one with my big bro, and did he get a chance to speak? Did he get a chance to show the world how firm his belief is, prove how my own faith paled in comparison or how wicked David is in the eyes of The Wonderland? Ha!” he scoffs, staccato and loud. “Cain Adams versus David Helms and just when it should be the big ugly fuck’s opportunity to shine… guess who’s hogging the limelight again? Yep! The fucking puppet master again, burning up the screen time and preaching from his high fucking horse… or high unicorn I guess? High whatever, that’s how you spend half your time anyway, isn’t it bro? So how’s about this time you let the acolytes speak for themselves in more than some token role, huh? Christ, even the Bible allowed the apostles to speak in more than token gestures and they built a religion on that garbage that more than two billion people believe in! You? Two. Two people follow you blindly, two people hang on your every word and you won’t even let the guy who’s match it was for speak for more than thirty seconds while you flap your fucking gums like a preacher when the end is nigh?! Fuck, I knew you were arrogant Gio, but I didn’t know it was this bad!” Jason says, shaking his head, equal parts disappointed and disgusted. “You gave Alice as much screen time as lil Cain got and it was his match! Though I guess she played an important part on Wednesday didn’t she, bro? But let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way first… you guys picked up another win, can’t deny that. Let the record reflect that The Wonderland once again picked up a victory, albeit by disqualification, over a member of the Handsome Devils Club. Cain Adams beat Hall Of Famer and Supreme Champion David Helms and whether it’s by DQ or not, that’s what the record books will show… but here’s the thing bud. Despite everything, despite two matches now where it’s been you guys and us on opposite sides of the ring, despite your talk of bloodletting and carnage a week ago, we’re still standing! You cheated at Retribution, you cheated again last week, or attempted to at any rate… and twice, the referee missed it. Maybe we need to remind the zebra’s that they need eyes in their damn heads in this place, I dunno. But for all your cawing about how those matches ended, for all your jaw jacking about disqualifications and victories, everything that happened was on you! And the same applies for anything that does happen this week… you started all of this, guys, and whether we finish it or you do, anything that happens is on your heads! You attacked us first, you turned this into a war, you cheated at Retribution, you attempted to use the numbers game to your advantage again last week… and both times, it was you that ended up getting hurt and backing up the ramp to avoid a situation you wanted no part in! And this week, maybe your tactics are all nice and legal… but guess what? That means those easy wins you fucks got in those last two matches aren’t fucking possible anymore!”

A smile spread across Jason’s face as he even manages a chuckle to himself. He takes a moment, rubbing the stubble on his face before getting back to the task at hand. “Those cheshire rules you seemed so happy about, that bastardisation of the Freebird rule that the rest of us know all about, it means nothing this week bro, nothing!” he says, shaking his head defiantly. “All three of you are legally part of this match, no second guessing or trying to keep us on edge wondering who walks out to that ring to face us, because all of you get to be part of this and that means you all step into our fun and games! I have to give you credit for accepting without question the challenge we threw out, but that’s the first mistake, guys. You liked to talk about strikes I made in wronging The Wonderland, but you get mistakes… first mistake I guess goes back to when you decided to attack us, or maybe when you bust me open while the ref wasn’t looking, but your biggest mistake was accepting this challenge because while I may not be known for my willingness to sacrifice my own body to beat someone else in this kind of match, David and Lucas are both former Underground champions and they know exactly what they’re going to have to do in order to beat you guys on Wednesday! A little bit of the New Jersey burbs comes to Breakdown when we throw all rules out of the window and make no mistake, it’s gonna be a fucking fight! We get to see what has more meaning, what’s a bigger motivation for violence, don’t we… your belief in The Wonderland or our belief in the fact that you fucks deserve exactly what’s fucking coming to you!” Jason says, not bothering to mince his words. “This Wednesday, in front of those ‘masses’ that you once cared about until coming back determined to become the baddest bastards in the yard, The Wonderland and the Handsome Devils Club clash in what is probably the final chapter. And every good story has five stages to it, something you probably know with the bullshit stories you guys try and present as fact… it starts with equilibrium, everything as it should be before you fucks turned up again, us going about our business… then disruption; Alice Ames picked up by the camera, spying on our movements, before the attack. Acknowledgement… we acknowledge you guys are assholes that really need to learn a thing or two about picking the right people to think with, something I can assure you we have absolutely done. Solving… which happens Wednesday when The Wonderland is truly exposed not just as a scam, but that it’s three lone champions are filled with nothing but hot air, and finally the return to equilibriam, where all three of you fuck off back to whatever rock you crawled out from beneath in order to try and prove your point in the first place! Todorov really knew his shit, don’t you think? And it just fits this entire situation perfectly! Now all we have to do is finish this in true Todorovian style by ensuring equilibrium returns. To put it in a way you may understand though Gio, think of wednesday night as Frabjous day… and while I know you fancy yourself as the Mad Hatter in all of this Gio, this is my narrative theory now, and you sir, you’re the big headed little bitch in this story. You have your Jabberwocky in Cain Adams, and you have your Knave of Knights in Alice Ames… and it’s time for the champion here, the real hatter, and his friends Tweedle Dave and Tweedle Knight to kick your ass all the way back into fucking exile! Just remember Gio… Cain, Alice… you fucks started this. Just ike the Queen of Hearts started everything… but it’s not the queen that won in the end. It’s the good guys. Us! And when it’s done… the wonderland will be free of all of you! For the Lizard King!” he says, bringing a hand up like a gun, which he points at the camera before ‘firing’. “BANG!” he says with finality, and he blows on the tip of his finger and smirks as the video ends. The final shot dims as the replay video appears in the middle of the screen.