We click play on the video and as we do, a small loading icon appears in the middle of the blank screen, turning slowly as the video buffers for a moment before fading and the video begins to play. And now that it's playing, the first thing we see is none other than Supreme Championship Wrestling star and member of the Helms Dynasty himself, Jason Helms, standing in what we know to be a room inside of his Mullholland Drive home in the Hollywood hills. He stands in the middle of the shot wearing dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt, on the front of which seems to be a cartoon version of Giovanni Aries and Jason himself, Giovanni dressed as the Mad Hatter and Jason as the Cheshire Cat, complete with a huge grin on his face. Above the cartoon are the words “Welcome To Wonderland!” in the Alice In Wonderland font. Pointing to the design on the t-shirt, Jason does his best to emulate the huge grin on the face of the Cheshire Jason, grinning broadly as he throws his arms in a big welcoming gesture to emphasise the welcome message on his t-shirt. Lowering his arms again, he brushes some lint from the front of the shirt, still grinning at the camera as a date stamp appears in the bottom left side of the screen reading [02.26.2018]. Bringing one hand up to rub the stubble of his face, he winks into the camera before lowering his hands to slip them into the pockets of his jeans as he begins to speak. “Sup ass-clowns,” he says, a now traditional welcome to the fans watching at home. At this point, he isn’t even sure it’s an insult to them anymore, as it was initially intended. “So... where do I begin, huh? Seriously, where do I begin? Should I start by talking about Trios and how I made flipping the bird cool again? Should I talk about Jason’s Adventures in Wonderland? Should I address the great new shirt design available now at Jason Helms dot com and the SCW website too? So many choices! And you know, I feel like a whole host of things have taken place since I last stood in front of this camera, despite it only being a week and change... and I guess the most important part is that I’m not in possession of a shiny Trios contract after my ‘team’ were dumped out in the semi-finals. And you know what? I’m completely okay with that... because I got more from the Trios tournament than I can put into words; talk about job satisfaction, the look on Bree’s face when I flipped her the bird made my year guys, and we’re only in February! I know, I know, I acted like a childish dick that night, but honestly? Worth it. See, some people see their teams and they’ll sell their soul to the devil for one of those contracts... and while I was happy to compete to my best, I never once claimed that I would bend over backwards to help those two cunt’s achieve their wildest dreams in contract form!” he says, shaking his head while still grinning. “Seriously, I may be a Jackass, but even I can see that handing a contract to a woman like Bree Mason or Lexi Von Aaron that guarantees them whatever match they want isn’t the best of ideas... in fact, people think of me as a cunt, but I think we can all agree that I was the probably the nicest individual on my team... so yeah, it was a pretty bitter sweet night for me at Trios, but hey... least I got to have a good chuckle at Mrs. Classypants’ expense, huh?”

Jason chuckles to himself, bringing a hand up to rub the stubble on his chin again as he starts to pace, talking as he walks backwards and forwards. “I think it’s probably obvious what I’d have used that contract for if we had won though... because I thought I’d made it fairly obvious what direction I want to guide my career towards over the last few months, but evidently the board of directors didn’t quite get the memo, given they gave a guy I have two victories over now the nod before me at Retribution... and all I can think is “are you for fucking real?!”, you know? Seriously, have I not proven myself by now, have I not proved that I should be the next in line to grab a shot at the Adrenaline Championship, given who I’ve beaten over the last few months? Gable cashed in his contract, can’t really complain about being overlooked there, but are you seriously telling me that Andrew Raynes deserves to have a shot at the Addy championship ahead of me when he’s lost nearly every match he’s been a part of since he returned to the fed?” he asks, casting an amazed look at the camera before going back to his pacing. “And I know what his argument is going to be, that he’s made an impact that transcends such mundane things as wins or losses, that he’s unleashed a storm upon SCW that means he’s more than deserving of the opportunity he’s getting at Retribution... sorry, but as far as I’m concerned, the only thing he’s unleashed is a torrent of verbal diarrhoea on the airwaves here in SCW, because as far as I’m concerned, I’ve been the current champ, the former champ, the previous three number one contenders and that fucking douchebag Raynes twice, so please tell me why I shouldn’t be furious right now, because I’d love to hear a logical reason why I should be fine with the fact that I’m not getting what I actually deserve, rather than deserving it in the same way that Raynes thinks he deserves a shot!” he says as he comes to a stop in the middle of the shot again, roughly where he started the video. He looks right down the lens of the camera as he continues to speak, keeping ‘eye contact’ the whole time he talks. “But I don’t let these things get me down, because heaven forbid I turn into one of those morbid cunts who turns every single bump in the road into the biggest most dramatic event to ever happen to anyone! You know the type, the ones who think everything is a tragedy, that they’re being held back if they don’t get a title shot every other week... the business is full of crybabies basically, and I don’t want to be one of them. Doesn’t change the fact I do feel overlooked right now though, even if I hate the idea that I’ll become one of those guys... but hey, life isn’t about whining and moaning, right? Especially when I haven’t spoken about this yet!”

Jason points to the cartoon caricatures of himself and Giovanni Aries on his t-shirt, grinning now as he beams into the camera. “Bet you wonderful fucks didn’t see that coming, huh?!” he says with a laugh, chuckling to himself as he slips his hands back into the pockets of his jeans. “To be honest, I’m not sure I did either... me and Gio, we’ve had our fair share of troubles over the recent past; I hold my hands up, for the most part I was the instigator, the whole Lizard Club shtick I had going on for a while. What can I say, it was a fantastic business opportunity, the Lizard Club shirt is still one of the top sellers on the SCW website to this day, though now you know that the Lizard King and his friends are not to be trusted, maybe you’ll think twice about that one. Don’t worry guys, the new Wonderland Club shirts will be up by the end of the week and of course, you can by this fine ass piece of clothing that I’m currently modelling for you all right now, so how about you go ahead and pause this video and go buy yours now! Go on, I’ll wait,” he says, stepping back to sit against the edge of his desk. He doesn’t look at the camera, paying attention to the nails on his hand, actually picking dirt out from under a finger nail for a few seconds before looking at his watch and deciding it was enough. “Alright, orders placed? Cool. Let’s crack on then,” he says, clapping his hands and rubbing them together as he pushes away from the edge of his desk again to stand by the spot he normally stands. “As I was saying before our scheduled mid-video merchandise purchasing break, me and Gio, we’ve had our fair share of problems... but it was mostly me being a jackass than anything, but two weeks ago you saw the start of the end to those problems... and yeah, it started with a stare down in the middle of the ring but then it blossomed into something beautiful that involved the exchanging of apologies and me getting kneed right in the ass! I’m pretty sure that like, makes us BFF’s or something now, you know?! Add to that what happened last week, with that fiasco that was the medical testing backstage and yeah, I think we can agree now that I’m all in on the Wonderland vibe guys! And that brings us to this week and our match on Breakdown, because Gio and me, we’re teaming up for a second time this week only this time, it will be as actual partners instead of two guys who hate one another! That’s right, the man who carries the honor of Wonderland on his back and the trolliest troll in SCW, fighting on the same page... that’s going to be something to behold ladies and germs, that’s something you are not going to want to miss this one!”

“Well... unless you’re Gigi and Maddy Steward anyway,” he concedes after a brief moment of pause, thinking abou that before turning his attention back to the camera. “I mean, you guys at home aren’t going to want to miss it, but the Steward chicks, they probably will. I mean, they haven’t had the best of luck recently as a team so there’s that... but think about it for a moment, yeah? You’ve got Giovanni, a week and a half away from finally getting his hands on Judas, dragging him into the Wonderland in order to spill his purple blood all over the ring. And me? I get Allocco the same night, where I can slap some sense into an asshole who thinks Judas is the right person to have as a mentor... we’re basically heading into two super important matches at Retribution and this will be our final match before the pay per view so you have to believe that we’ll be going all in to try and go into that supershow with all the momentum in our corner when the time comes to show that fucking Lizard King and his supporters who’s boss! But Maddy and Gigi? They’re lost already, meandering aimlessly right now, and that’s a dangerous position for the two of them to be in because neither of them have anything to fight for on Wednesday night. They have nothing to motivate them, nothing to give them the fight they need in order to go the extra mile. We do! And while I may be teaming with perhaps the most unconventional son of a bitch on the roster, we have reason to want this victory, more than Gigi and Maddy can ever have!” he says, so confident in his assumptions that he’s almost presenting them as fact. “See guys, I think the Brat Pack’s problem is that they’re without purpose right now... and this is something that I think I’m pretty knowledgeable about because it’s something I’ve experienced; they suffer from having a surname that’s flat out tied to one person in particular. Katie. Katie Steward is a legend in this company and whenever anyone hears the Steward name, it’s definitely her that they think about, not Gigi or Maddy. I’m the younger brother of David Helms, he’s up there with Katie in the popularity stakes and when you say the name Helms, it’s not me they think about. I accept that. He was here for years, he had fifteen years in the business. I’m not even mad about that... but the first thing I did when I came here was try and force people to take notice of me, show that I’m every bit as impressive in the ring as my big bro. It’s all about the name, but I want to make sure that people pay attention to me because I’m a big name... the Stewards? They basically live to serve Katie and as a result of that, they’re wondering around blind without her. Their careers were practically built on their service to the woman who has been linked to the Lizard King in her own unique way in the past. Dinosaurs are Lizards after all. Gigi and Maddy have no identity right now, other than being Team Steward and until Katie comes back, they’re basically trying to learn how to be people in their own right despite the fact that they’ve been here for years now!”

Jason removes a hand from his pocket and runs it over his hair, making sure it’s still set in place before he turns his attention back to the camera. “One thing you can’t say about Gio or me though, is that we lack direction!” he says matter-of-factly, without a shred of doubt in his voice. “We’ve known what we want for the longest time now, each of us knowing exactly what we’re going for. And now we’ve joined forces, because we share the same enemies... basically, this is a dream team, because not only do we guarantee entertainment out there, but we guarantee an amazing match too! Let’s face it, Gio and me, we’ve been some of the most entertaining shit on Breakdown now for months; if you’re not popping for his eccentricity, you’re cheering my trolling; we’re a match made in heaven as far as tag teams go, and when you add that hairy S.O.B, Beard, in there two... well, I think we can all agree that you’ve got the greatest thing on the face of the planet, whatever the hell that thing is! Fun! Yeah, Fun, that’s what it is! Three extraordinary gentlemen, entertaining all you fuck’s out there in the most decadent manner imaginable... what’s not to love?!” he asks, grinning broadly again before he goes to speak for the final time. “That’s why Maddy and Gigi should be worried. That’s why Judas should be worried, why Alistaire Allocco should be worried... but it’s why you guys watching at home should be hopeful. Because while this company may be full with numerous assholes, douchebags and fuck-cunts, one thing is true... you have people you can cheer for. Not that I care, but I know that kind of thing makes you feel better about the situation and I’m all for that! We’ll give you something to cheer for this Wednesday night, we’ll give a performance that will drive the ladies wild and make all the guys in the arena wish you were us! All in the name of Wonderland... but for me personally, also for the name Helms. Because as I’ve told you every single time I’ve stepped in front of this camera ladies and germs, It’s All About The Name... and unlike our opponents this week, I know the value of my own name, rather than someone elses. Enjoy the show folks... I know I sure as fuck will!” he finishes with a wink before bringing his hand up into a mock salute, which he fires off before the video comes to an end, the screen dimming slightly as the replay button appears in the middle of the screen.