You ever been so fucking angry that you come right around the other side and end up completely calm about the whole situation? Shit, I always wondered what it felt like to be all zen and stuff like one of those orange robe wearing monk motherfuckers, but until recently that had never happened. I’m a wear my heart on my sleeve make damn sure people know how you feel type of fuckers, I’m not one for channeling inner peace and shit; it seemed like a lot of effort when it’s easier just to bitch slap someone and make sure they know full well that they’ve pissed you off… but Pittsburgh, man, that pussy attack from The Network, they finally fucking achieved it bro, they full on monk-ed me!
I mean, okay sure, that night I was too busy being in pain to do anything but grimace and complain about their bullshit little assault and the following morning when my arm wouldn’t work for shit, I was kind of irked - something of an obvious understatement for comedic purposes - but by the time we got back to Nola, getting off the plane at Louis Armstrong, I’d reached zen about the whole thing! It wasn’t even an issue anymore, or it was but it wasn’t one to get worked up about, because the solution was simple: As soon as my shoulder heels up, I go back to SCW and work my way through each and every one of those pussy motherfuckers like it’s my deathbed bucket list to punch each and every member of that ragtag group of assholes in the face and make damn sure they know that they screwed with the wrong member of the Helms family! I’m not my brother, I don’t just take shit in my stride, I pause and react at every turn. It’s kind of my thin, not sure if you’ve noticed. Aniya kept fussing of course; my shoulder was heavily taped up and the docs told me to use my arm as little as possible, so that of course meant that Nia had to run around like a panicking Percy, trying to do everything for me. I’m actually pretty fucking surprised that she didn’t offer to help me take a piss every time I said I needed to visit the John, but I guess even true love has its limits or whatever. Which is weird when you think about it… I mean, she’ll take it in her mouth when we’re in the sack, but didn’t offer to help me piss? Which ones the more natural of the two actions, huh? Ha. Not the point though. See, irked as I was at first, and my shoulder was giving me plenty of fucking trouble so I really shouldn’t have needed any more reason to be pissed off, shooting pains with every cough and the hardest time sleeping because it was difficult to get comfortable, those kind of fun and games… but sitting in the lazy boy at home, the afternoon after Breakdown in Pittsburgh? Yup; cool as a fucking cucumber. No, seriously, Jason Helms, the hot headed asshole from New Jersey… I was so fucking Zen about everything that I could have taught the Dalai Lama a few things, ya know? I mean, I assume the shaved headed spectacle wearing smiley motherfucker wouldn’t approve of the whole sex with different people thing, so maybe that wouldn’t be on the syllabus, but lessons on keeping cool calm and composed? Just call me Professor Helms, bro!
Wish I could say the same about everyone else, though…
I mean, Aniya was a little too busy fussing over me to get angry for the most part, only letting it spill out if she saw me wince in pain and stuff, but we’d barely been home a couple hours when Amy and Wyatt showed up, and if you ever needed to know what polar opposites looked like, you just had to take a look at me and Amy side by side. And no straight hair versus perm bullshit, alright? I know what you fucks are like. Seriously though, if I was the Zenmaster, Amy was the fucking Ragemaster… I mean, I’ve seen her angry before, sure. But she was pissed bro, seriously pissed. I mean, I get it, it’s not like I don’t… this stuff between me and Bree, it’s been festering ever since she ‘outed’ me and Amy, or attempted to anyway… and okay, maybe I’ve not done myself any favors in a way by keeping that shit going, but a troll is as a troll does, I can’t fucking help myself, you know? I see a situation that requires someone to be a jackass and I’m all “wouldn’t I be outstanding in that capacity?”, full on Judd Nelson as John Bender stylee, complete with enthusiastic grin! And given I actually picked Nelson as a surname when I had to choose an assumed name after the accident, you can imagine my joy at any opportunity to feel like the most badass guy in the whole of the fictional town of Sherma, Illinois, lol. But anyway, I’m getting distracted again. Fucking pop culture. So as I was saying, I know I kind of put myself in these situations at times with my smartass mouth and dumb games, but at least I handle my own business, and Bree needs bringing down a peg or two anyway, so it’s like, my moral obligation to troll the shit out of her at every turn, hence my little TMZ-style vignettes on the shows leading up to the Network’s pussy-ass attack… apparently not everyone thought it was amusing I guess? Don probably wouldn’t have; imagine being replaced by a blow up doll and a replica championship! Gotta be bad for the ego! Haha.
“It’s just so like her, that’s the problem!” I remember Amy saying, as we sat in the lounge of mine and Aniya’s place once I was back in Nola following the night The Network attacked me. “It shows her arrogance; why bother dealing with a situation yourself when you can simply pay someone else to do it for you, not having to get your hands dirty or do any of the hard work and risk breaking a nail!” she went on, getting worked up all over again. I remember thinking that she was gonna have a damn coronary if she didn’t calm the fuck down. Ha. Age related joke; score one for being the younger guy on the side! Don’t tell her that though, she’ll hit me! “And okay, maybe you’ve poked her enough to get a reaction, but come on, it was a couple of videos mocking her… talk about an overreaction!”
“Since when has Bree been capable of reacting an appropriate amount to any given situation though?” I asked, knowing full well that the answer was that she hadn’t. Some people are just not able to react in a fitting manner to situations they find themselves in… Bree Lancaster is definitely one of those people!
“Yeah, and that’s fair,” Amy said, waving the point away with a flick of her hand, like she was physically brushing it aside. “But to lose it like she did, to the point she’s willing to literally pay someone to attack you? That’s the kind of thing you see on true crime documentaries on PBS, not something you expect to see from people you know…”
“I think perhaps the biggest shock is that none of us expected it,” Aniya said, sighing. “I mean, it’s not as if anyone in this room was blissfully unaware of the type of woman Bree has become over the past couple of years, no offence by the way Wyatt,” she added but he just raised a hand to say it was okay. “Yeah, Jason has a habit of getting under the skin of people enough to make them flip out, but why are we shocked that Bree would pay off Dante to attack him? It’s Bree we’re talking about here!”
“Not sure anything would shock me with her to be honest… other than her suddenly becoming a well balanced emotionally stable person maybe,” I said with a smirk. “That would kind of shock me…”
“Don’t hold your breath,” Amy said angrily, glaring at me as she said it, though obviously it wasn’t me she was angry with, but Bree. “I swear, the more success she has and the more people that pander to her, the worse she gets! This whole alliance with Past Present Future is only adding to her already inflated ego too. She thinks she’s untouchable!” She went on, her anger flaring again and Wyatt looked a little uncomfortable though he didn’t contradict her even though it was his sister we were discussing. I guess he’d already given up on her by then anyway though, so maybe it was just par for the course?
“The worst part is that I only talked to her a few days ago and I honestly got the impression that she may want to fix some of the stuff that’s happened this year,” Wyatt said, sounding dejected, and suddenly the uncomfortable look on his face made more sense. “I’m not saying we made any big leaps towards her being sorry for everything she’s said and done, but it felt like a starting point at least… and then she does this and it reminds me why I turned my back on her in the first place. If she wasn’t family…” he started but it was Amy who finished the sentence for him.
“Then we wouldn’t even need to have this discussion, we’d automatically want to kick her ass,” she said, grinding her teeth a little. Don’t add dental work to the list of procedures you’ve had this year babe, the lists long enough already. “It’s an easier decision for me though, I accepted we weren’t family anymore a long time ago… so I have no problem in telling her just how I feel if I’m lucky enough to stumble across her!” she went on with such anger that I almost found myself shocked for a moment. Maybe it was just the fact that we were at different ends of the spectrum at this point, or maybe it was just that I wasn’t used to seeing her this worked up, but it was an odd experience. I mean, it helps I’m looking back on this, because I know what happened afterwards when she did bump into the blonde haired bitch, but yeah. At the time? Crazy, bro. “I’m done trying. I’m done holding out hope. She’s made her decision Wyatt, she isn’t ever going to change and we’re deluding ourselves for thinking she will…”
“I know, I really do…” Wyatt admitted with a sigh. It was obvious it still weighed heavy on him, even if he had tried to turn his back on her already. I guess it’s hard to truly walk away from family, no matter what they do to deserve it. “I just wish I could remember that, every time it looks like we may be able to fix things. It’s not easy turning your back on someone…”
“Preaching to the choir with that one bro,” I told him, scoffing. Even after everything with Aaron and Regan, i couldn’t help holding out a little hope that we’d eventually be on halfway decent terms again some day. Talk about ignorance, huh? “And Ames, seriously babe, let it go. I know that you think I’m insane… but don’t worry about me, alright? What she did? Nothing out of the ordinary for Bree. I’ll even the score, don’t worry about that one…”
“How are you being so calm right now?!” Amy asked, actually sounding annoyed by the fact, though the corners of her mouth twitched at least a little when she asked the question. “It wasn’t me who got jumped and I’m livid… I’d have thought you’d be smashing things and screaming bloody murder at this point!” She said and Wyatt actually laughed. He wasn’t the only one; I was smirking broadly at her point, because I knew she was right. Normally, I would have been… thing is, I knew something she didn’t. I was livid. And i was planning my revenge!
“Never judge a book by the cover Amy, they teach that shit in Kindergarten,” I said with another smirk and got nothing but a frown in return. Okay, so not the time for wise cracks, gotcha. “Look, I’m just saying you need to ca—”
“Don’t even think of telling me I need to calm down Jason!” She replied, and I looked over briefly at Wyatt to see him wince slightly. “I was calm. I had to retire because of a match I had with Bree where she hurt me, I actually believed her when she said she didn’t do it intentionally when most would tell her to go fuck herself… but now? I’m about as far from calm as you can get! And she can’t talk her way out of this one!” She said, getting to her feet, all be it slightly slower than she would have done before the injury to pace over to the fire place before rounding on us all again. I suddenly felt like we were in a sermon. “She can’t justify what she’s done this time, she can’t say it was an accident or that it’s just part of the risk we take climbing in that ring! She paid someone to attack you backstage, after you’d had a match too! Which makes it even worse because you’d already been through the ringer not long before and then you had to try and defend yourself against three people who jump you from behind!”
“Sweetheart, please just—” Wyatt tried to say but she waved him down with a swing of her arm, cutting him off before he could even finish what he wanted to say.
“No Wyatt, I won’t just do anything, I’m angry!” Amy told him, standing there defiantly as if she was daring him to contradict her or tell her what to do. “She’s lucky I am retired, because if I was still active… ugh, this is ridiculous!” she finished, coming to a deflated stop as her anger got the better of her. It was obviously getting to her a lot because she couldn’t even process her sentences!
“Amy,” I said, and at this point my voice wasn’t raised, I didn’t shout it but said it calmly and softly… yet it cut through the air like I’d screamed out loud at the top of my lungs. Amy’s eyes met mine and I smiled briefly before motioning to the chair she’d just vacated, which she grudgingly took, looking a little irritable still as I leant forward, propping myself up with one arm to avoid disturbing my strapped up shoulder. “First, I don’t want you to even worry about Bree, okay?” I said and she scoffed and looked about to cotradict me but I went on before she could. “I look calm, maybe even sound it too… but in all the time you’ve known me, have you ever known me to just let something go? Think about that, because I’m pretty sure you know better than to think I’m going to let her get away with paying off Dante and his punk ass friends to jump me. I’m not, and I already have ideas for how to hit her where it hurts, rather than just giving back what I got,” I told her with a wry smile; I didn’t have ideas at the time if I’m being completely honest, but I just wanted to try and get her to calm down as much as possible. And I actually do have a few ideas now, so it was only a little white lie anyway. “As for Dante and those other fucks in The Network… karma’s a bitch, babe. Soon as they’ve cleared me, those assholes better watch their backs, because I’m going for them one at a time, and I won’t bother to try and injure, I’m breaking noses or eye sockets. Look at me. Tell me I’m not being serious when I say that…”
She looked me in the eye and at first I saw doubt on her face but then her features softened at least a little. Evidently she knew I wasn’t bluffing about that much. “Okay, so I believe you…” she grudgingly replied, sighing. “But they’re just the pawns in all of this shit. Bree is the one manipulating the board!”
“And I’ve already said I’m gonna deal with her too,” I remember replying, wishing I did already have ideas, but the pain pills they’d given me in the trainers room to come home with made my head a little fuzzy so cut me a little slack at least. I need a minimum of forty eight hours to come up with a good solid plan to truly get that bitch back, especially if I want to make those vignettes look take in comparison. “But you need to trust me to get my revenge and not fly off the handle because you’re angry. I appreciate it I really do, but you wading in isn’t going to help matters is it? Not when she can have you arrested for assault if you do go after her, now you’ve retired…”
“Jason’s right sweetheart,” Wyatt said, putting his hand on her arm, squeezing it supportively. “I already told Bree that if she wants to start building bridges she needs to leave the family stuff out of this and stopped making it personal… the last thing we need is for you to go after her now and drag us all back into it,” he said and I couldn’t help but wonder if that was the right thing to say, under the circumstances. “I want to shout at her myself, but do the kids need more drama split across the tabloids? Bree’s actions are putting our name out there enough already, we don’t need an article in TMZ about you getting arrested do we?”
I thought she was gonna argue for a minute, that she was gonna come up with another slew of reasons why she wasn’t going to hold back if she got her hands on Bree… but then her shoulders sagged slightly and she just nodded. “I think we all could do with calming down to be honest,” Aniya said, her hand finding the way to the small of my back. “Apart from Mr. Zen here anyway, though I’m not sure I quite buy the cool and collected act anyway… but I do believe him when he says he’ll find a way to get back at Bree, because I know my husband. And The Network won’t get away with it either, so how about we just try and forget about this stuff, at least for tonight?”
“Good idea,” Wyatt said, trying to jump on Aniya’s suggestion while things were going in the right direction. “We could order food, or head out to a restaurant or something?” He said, though I was hoping consensus wouldn’t be the latter as I wasn’t sure i was up to going anywhere.
“I’d rather have a scotch,” I joked, smirking. Doc told me not to have anything to drink while on the meds, so I knew that wasn’t happening, even if I could use one. “But I’ll settle for root beer and Chinese food… sound good?” I asked and nobody complained, thankfully. I could tell from looking at her that Amy still wasn’t calmed by anything anyone had said, that she was still livid at Bree and worked up over the whole thing, but she put on a brave face for the rest of the evening at least, and that was something. And we did have a good time, despite the atmosphere when Amy and Wyatt first got there; we did order Chinese food and I even managed to drain a couple of real beers despite warning looks from both Aniya and Amy, though it wasn’t like a couple of budweisers was gonna do that much harm considering I planned to stop taking the meds as soon as the pain was down to a manageable level. I’ve never been one for taking meds any longer than absolutely necessary, it’s not that I want to be a tough guy or any other macho bullshit like that, I just don’t like the way they make me feel. Guess I’d make a useless burnout, huh?
We waved Amy and Wyatt off a little after eight; we had given them the option of just staying over if they wanted to, but I understood the reluctance, given they’d not told Jaina and Loki that they’d be gone for the night and while Jaina was a good kid who wouldn’t mind looking after her brother one bit, I could see why Amy and Wyatt wouldn’t want to take advantage of how good she was by getting her to look after Loki whenever they wanted to have some fun. Not that I was in any real shape for that though, all things considered. “So do you have any ideas for getting even with Bree?” Nia asked me a couple hours later as we were getting ready for bed; I was having difficulty brushing my teeth with the wrong hand, given I couldn’t use my right thanks to Dante and his friends but Aniya knew better than to try and do it for me thankfully. “I mean, you told Amy you had a few ideas, but I know you baby, and the look on your face makes me think you weren’t being entirely honest about that…”
Looking away from her reflection in the mirror, I spat toothpaste into the sink and lent over to drink from the tap to swill my mouth out before finally straightening up and looking her in the eyes. “Honestly? Not yet,” I admitted, shrugging… which is a huge fucking mistake when one of your shoulders is taped up, believe me! Won’t make that mistake again, that’s for fucking sure. “At least nothing concrete anyway… just sort of half ideas that could be hilarious. See, I think I get Bree a little better than she knows; doing the same as what she had Dante do but to her, that won’t make a damn bit of difference. She’d just play on it, make herself out to be the victim like she’s done ever since she tried to break the story about me and Amy…” I said as I lent back on the bathroom counter. “I don’t plan on giving her that satisfaction. Nah, I’m thinking I need to hit her somewhere else entirely…”
“Like the knee?” She said and I frowned at first before seeing the smirk on her face. Told you the meds made me feel funny. “So what are you thinking then?” She asked and a small smirk slowly spread across my face.
“Like I said, I haven’t quite put the pieces together yet,” I told her with another chuckle. “But her ego is definitely the place to hit, rather than her face… not that I wouldn’t like to drive a knee into it, but that’s not the point,” I joked and Nia smirked at the thought. “Right now, my first thought is to hire one of those big flat bed trucks with the advertising board on the back… just not sure what I’ll have printed on there yet. But I’ve plenty of time to figure that out. Not like I can really do much else for a few weeks, is it?” I said with a laugh. Well, what was the point in letting all of this get me down, when I’d basically got no choice but rest. Dante and his pals didn’t give me much choice, did they? And if I was gonna use my time productive - as well as starting up the rehab exercises that the doc had given me to do as soon as the pain was manageable - then i was pretty confident that I’d come up with something more than fitting for a spoilt bitch with entitlement issues. What’s the saying? Don’t get mad, get even. That was my mantra. Still is, it’s just that now I actually know what I’m gonna do… and I can’t fucking wait for her to find out too, because her tantrums are like fuel to the fire bro. And while I may not be on a hot streak thanks to losing at Rise to Greatness and then not getting to compete at Apocalypse at all, but it’s not over yet. Not by a fucking long stretch. Time to turn up the heat!
