:: Jason Helms :: He's No Superman ::

Fate… destiny… chance… fortune… so many synonyms to basically sum up the notion of events outside of a person’s control. So many words to describe something that pretty much divides opinion over whether such a thing even exists. I’m not sure where I stand on that one. It’s difficult, as an atheist, to believe in some grand plan, some master scheme for my life that’s already pre-determined by some mystical force in the ether… how can I in good faith – which is an ironic phrase in its self – believe in the notion that my future is already set out for me when I don’t believe the mumbo-jumbo preached inside of a house of god? Doesn’t one automatically assume the existence of the other? Maybe it’s because I don’t like the idea of my fate being outside of my own control… my brother used to talk a lot about there being no fate but what we make for ourselves; I think he just wanted to sound cool to be quite honest, wanting to quote lines from films and he’s such a Braunschweiger dork, it’s unreal. But despite how lame Dave is or isn’t for his inane desire to overuse that particular quote, it does kind of fall in line with what I like to think is true, that the future isn’t set and that there is no fate but what we make for ourselves. I dunno, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m just in denial about the reality of our existence on this planet and all those head bowing deity worshiping morons have it right, that the unbelievers really will end up in hell and if that is the case, I don’t think there’s any doubt about whether my ass is headed to the fiery pit, right?

Thing is, while I’m all for the ‘master of my own destiny’ stuff, I don’t always force the issue perhaps as much as I should. I know, it sounds dumb when I claim to be a non-believer where the hand of fate is concerned, but there are times in life when I let others make the decisions for me… and maybe that’s a sign of weakness, who knows. Everyone has them, you know? Yeah, even an ego-maniac like me can admit to that one. Nobody’s perfect and anyone who claims to be is delusional. I guess you could say that I’m in this constant state of flux between the idea of wanting to be in control of my own destiny and letting whatever happen’s happen and dealing with the consequences later. I mean, even when I know what I want, I can’t always push myself that last half a yard to the goal line… that’s got to be a fault in who I am, because it sure as fuck doesn’t make things easy for me at times!

You only have to look at the shit with Dave, how stressed I got when I realized my plans had gone up in smoke, to see what I’m talking about there. I turned into a complete mess because the plans I had put into place, the expectations I had and assumptions I made, it all went out of the window and instead of figuring out how I moved forward with the new knowledge I now possessed, I went into meltdown. I struggled to accept that maybe I’d been wrong about the whole situation, that I’d judged Dave unfairly and that flipped everything upside down! It says it all that I thought about putting the house on the market and moving away from California again, just to avoid having to tell David the truth once I realized that my disappearance wasn’t as cut and dry as I’d assumed it was. I’m a dreadful person at times; I play tough but clearly I’m not quite as sure of myself as I pretend to be. Maybe it’s something to work on? Don’t think I need to go to the lengths that some assholes go to though… I don’t plan on grabbing a tent and taking myself away to the wilderness to rebuild who I am or hiring a whole team of counselors and therapists, trainers, cooks and bottle-washers to figure out who I want to be this week! I know who I am, I just don’t always make the decisions I know a guy like me should make, that’s the basic summery. I guess the only real saving grace is that when others make the decisions for you, you can’t be blamed for the outcome… I mean, I’m more than aware of the fact that the stuff with Dave or the stuff with Amy could have blown up in my face, but they didn’t. Decisions were made and I had to go along with the outcome… fortunately, lady luck sometimes favors you even when you’re letting someone else decide your fate for you…

Hollywood Hills, California
Early December 2016

I remember going through a series of ups and downs following the conversation I had under Debbie’s blue umbrella with Dave. Christ, that’s such a dumb sentence to have to say… whatever. Point is, I remember going through a bit of a mood swing following that conversation. It was the uncertainty I think, the not knowing whether he was going to follow it up with another little chat or whether he’d think about what we’d discussed and ultimately decide that it was a waste of his time, that the guy on the other end of the screen was blowing smoke up his ass or it really was just a shot at extorting money out of him. And who could blame him, huh? I mean, a site like Debbie’s Blue Umbrella didn’t exactly scream credibility, did it? And if the mysterious stranger known as ‘Returning Home’ really did want to help, why the cloak and dagger bullshit? Why didn’t they just go to him in person and lay their cards out on the table, provide some sort of evidence that I was alive and leave it at that? That’s what any sane person would do, and while I can’t say I count myself as insane in any way shape or form, even I can admit my approach was unusual to the point of irrational to say the least… but it was my approach none the less. I’d played my hand and if it backfired I’d have to find another way to approach Dave, probably just tell him flat out instead of hiding behind a screen name and the anonymity of the internet to get me past the first few hurdles. In short, I’d have to grow a set and confront the truth head on…

…as it was, the choice was ultimately made for me, but to get to that point, I have to reflect on how things took a somewhat amusing twist given that Dave had been talking to me the entire time on that Umbrella website without knowing it. As I already said, a couple days of radio silence for want of a better word followed the conversation we’d had on the website, and I was back to thinking that it probably wasn’t going to be all that successful, that the account would never be logged into again and it was back to square one. I guess I didn’t factor the fact that we’d struck up this weird fake friendship thing since I moved into the house next to his, because the last thing I was planning for was for Dave to end up asking my advice on what he should do! Think about that for a minute; I was the guy who he’d been talking to online, in the most fucked up catfish story out there, and yet Dave actually wanted to ask my advice about the whole thing. Could that have been any more perfect than it was?! I guess that makes me a douche bag or whatever, knowing what I do while David doesn’t know anything even remotely close to the truth… it’s like insider trading knowledge, right? But you better fucking believe I was going to Jordan Belfort Wolf Of Wall Street that shit to try and get exactly what I wanted!

“Oh, thanks,” David said as he took the beer I was holding out to him. He’d seen me unloading some boxes from the car into the garage as he came walking by with his dog, fresh of a walk, and asked if I had time for a drink so he could run something past me. I was still playing the role of friendly neighbor, there was no way I could have said no even if I didn’t really have the time… and when I realized what he wanted to talk about you better fucking believe that I was glad I didn’t! “I hope I’m not interrupting anything bro, I don’t want to take you away from whatever you were doing with the boxes if it’s something important,” I remember him saying to me; my brother, ever the sickeningly thoughtful ass-hat, huh? Seriously, how do-goody can someone be? If I wasn’t torn over realizing he actually gave a fuck about my disappearance it would have actually annoyed me. I waved his protestations away though as I dropped down into the empty lawn chair opposite the one he was sat in and cracked my own beer open. “Well, so long as you’re sure…”

“Honestly dude, I wasn’t doing anything important,” I told him after taking a swig from my beer. “It’s just a bunch of promo material for the bar, some t-shirts and other stuff to give away to customers, nothing I need to take care of right this minute anyway…”

He nodded in understanding; he knew that Nia and me owned a bar on Sunset, he thought that was why we’d moved to California in the first place, thinking it was our dream to run something that hopefully becomes as huge as the Viper Room or the Whiskey. In part, that was a real dream, at least for Aniya. She’d been talking about owning a bar on Sunset for a few years and moving to California was the perfect opportunity for us to start a new investment… along with the added bonus of what should have been my opportunity to screw with David’s life, until that was flipped on its head. “How’s the bar coming along?” he asked, probably just being polite, but again that was my brother to a fucking tee, wasn’t it? Always interested, always enthusiastic. Fuck, that made me feel like an even bigger asshole. “That opening night is getting closer by the minute bro, you guys must be pretty excited now…”

“Oh for sure dude,” I told him, nodding. We officially opened the first week of January, avoiding the temptation of opening up for New Year’s eve, because that would be opening night suicide trying to compete with already long established establishments. “We’ve hired staff, we’ve stocked up, it’s pretty much fully decorated now… just trying to book some decent bands for the opening night, so we can draw people in…”

“You know, I can probably help with that,” he said casually. “The label has some great bands signed to it right now; if the label requests they play the gig, I can write it off as a deductible and you’ll get some decent talent and good exposure because the roster of AnteUp Records has a solid following too…”

“That would be great man, thanks!” I said, and while I was still trying to be as friendly as possible while playing my part… I actually did appreciate the offer, because it would help the bar out so fucking much. It was Aniya’s dream, if I could help in any way then of course I’d do it! “I’m sure Nia will really appreciate it too… she’s been stressing out about not having decent bands booked yet, because we need a headliner that’ll draw people in. A free gig is a free gig, so I’m sure it’ll pull some people in, but a free gig by a known band is going to really drag them in, you know?” I asked, before shrugging. “But you didn’t ask to talk so we can shoot the shit about our bar, so what’s going on dude? Everything okay?”

Sighing, he sat forward and rest his arms on his knees, his beer bottle hanging from the end of the fingers tips of one hand as he just shrugged at me. “I dunno man, I really don’t,” he said with a shake of the head. “I… well, it’s a fucked up story, I don’t really know where to begin if I’m honest…”

You have no idea how difficult it was to pretend like I had no idea what was going on and I tried to sound vaguely supportive while being sort of confused with it. “Then maybe you should just start from the beginning?” I offered, trying to be helpful.

And so he did. He told me about ‘his brother’ and the accident in more detail than he had before, he told me about the letter out of the blue and not believing a word of it… about how his curiosity got the better of him and how he’d spoken to the person who sent him the letter on the Umbrella website, how he didn’t believe it but that he wasn’t sure his disbelief should stop him from actually seeing where things went… he really spilled his guts, I probably should have felt awful about it. “I mean, I get that the chances of it being anything are probably less likely than Jason signing a pre-contract with SCW on the off chance that he can wrestle in a decade’s time… but in that one in a million chance, what if this fucking weirdo actually is telling the truth? I want to tell them to go to hell, but I’m worried that if I do, it’ll come back to bite me on the ass down the line…” he said, sounding desperate for an answer that would make it all make sense.

I was pretty sure that I could give him the answer that he wanted, though it wasn’t going to be for his benefit. Go ahead, call me a scumbag. I’ll happily hold my hands up and own that shit! “Damn man, I don’t even know what to say,” I lied, laughing on the inside even if I was faking sincere concern on the outside. “I… damn dude, I just don’t even know what to think right now… that must be such a headfuck for you! I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to spend like, a decade believing that your brother’s dead, only for someone to say they have proof he isn’t…”

“Yeah, you’re not fucking kidding,” he said with a hollow laugh. “And I just can’t figure out what I should do…”

“I mean, I can see why you’d be torn,” I told him, trying to make my voice sound hesitant. Had to go in for the hard sell. “But, well I’m not really sure I’m the right person to give you advice on what you should do, I don’t think it’s really my place, you know?”

“Regan thinks I’m crazy for even talking to them,” he said, as if he wasn’t paying attention to what I’d said, and I thought he wasn’t until he actually replied to what I’d said to him. “And I know I’ve not known you for long, but that kind of feels like what I need right now, if that makes sense? Everyone I’m close to is going to be too close to give me an opinion that isn’t based on the fact that they don’t want to see me get my hopes up or whatever… at least your view is based on the info available, not some notion of wanting to make sure I don’t get hurt…”

I nodded my head, acting as if his explanation had opened me up to the idea that maybe I could give him an opinion that would help. “Yeah, I can kind of see that…” I admitted, sighing a little as if it was a decision that was weighing on me. “But, I mean, are you sure?” I asked, spinning it out so I didn’t seem to eager. He nodded his head though, and that was my cue to pretty much try and push him in the direction I wanted! “Well… I mean, I get why Regan and others would call you crazy, I do. You said yourself, it’s probably bullshit. The chances are high it is anyway… but there’s always going to be that ‘what if’ hanging over you if you don’t at least see where it goes. And wouldn’t you rather follow up on it and be disappointed than not find out because of the doubts cast over the whole thing?” I said, making sure to add a hint of uncertainty to my voice so it wasn’t obvious that I really wanted him to message the ‘stranger’ again. “I just… I guess I just think that you’d be better to see where it goes than to never find out or whatever…”

He nodded his head, he actually nodded his fucking head. He was agreeing with me! “That’s what I’ve been thinking!” he told me with enthusiasm. Hook line and fucking sinker! “I was letting Regan convince me it was dumb, but I can’t help thinking that if I don’t at least see how this plays out, I’m going to kick myself forever over it…”

“Exactly dude,” I said, nodding my head again. This was too fucking easy, and I wanted to laugh but obviously couldn’t. The best part was that he genuinely fucking thanked me too, when he finished his beer and said he should head off so I could go back to organizing the bar merchandise that I was bringing in when he first spotted me. We half shook half high fived, one of those dumb bro shakes like Braunschweiger did in Hunter Killer, the whole ‘Dillon you son of a bitch’ thing that I don’t really get, and then he headed off to go back to his own place next door, and I had to keep my shit together until I got back in the house and made sure the door was firmly closed. I didn’t stop laughing for around five minutes; how could this have been any more perfect?! Everything was coming together so fucking perfectly and if I was right – and I was around ninety nine percent sure I was – then I’d find myself sat at the computer again that night on the Blue Umbrella website, figuring out the details for where and when David would meet his brother for the first time in a decade! And okay, maybe he was going to be damn pissed off when he realized what the truth was, but I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. It was all working out, and that was what I was concentrating on. Score one for Jason fucking Helms… even if it came via the alias of Jody Nelson. God bless Jody Nelson, hail Jody, kind of psychology… ha…

New Orleans, Louisiana
17th September, 2017

Okay, so I know I’m not going to win any prizes for pointing out the obvious, but… well, do you want to know what’s really fucking useful? Having hands. Yep, colour me blown away; who the hell would have thought it that there was such a large spectrum of practical uses for those wonderful things on the end of your arms, huh? Talk about painfully obvious, I get that. But after recent events pointing out just how much able-bodied people take that shit for granted, I’ve found myself thinking about it in some weird abstract way; I mean, think about it! Think about whatever it is that you’re doing right this very second in time… are you using your phone? Using a mouse to scroll on a computer? Touching yourself in that special little place that priests claim will send you to hell for abusing? Insert smirk here. Now think about how much you’re taking it for granted that you can do that because evolution gave human’s such functional and practical things as the humble phalanges! See my point? And now you’re probably wondering why the fuck I’ve been musing over something so obvious when most people don’t give it a second though… because yeah, I admit that it is a strange thing to be thinking about, no doubt about that. Dumb thing is, I only started musing over this crap after I realised how useful hands are for a very specific reason… and I have a smirk on my face right now just thinking about it. Question: have you ever realised just how great hands are for keeping someone quiet?

Insert further smirking here…

And I’m not talking about useful in a ‘grabbing them by the throat and threatening to punch their teeth out if they don’t shut the fuck up’ kind of way like I want to do to many people in SCW on a regular basis, including Man-Baby and his irritating as fuck wife amongst others, but a hand over the mouth or biting down on knuckles, that’s a great way of keeping others or yourself in the heat of a given moment… though drawing blood is a slight side effect of biting your own hand so maybe that one’s not quite as useful after all? But I’m digressing. At this point, I probably don’t have to spell out what I’m talking about; the smirk on my face, the suggestion of needing to keep yourself or someone else quiet… but seriously, have you any idea how difficult it is to keep someone quiet during sex?! I mean, certain situations call for a significant level of discretion, you know? Which probably defeats the point now I’m talking about it, but it was more important in the moment than it is now I guess… but let’s just say that I’m not sure the paying customers of CrescentCity Fitness would have been all that interested in the sound of an intense orgasm when trying to pump iron or bust out some epic cardio downstairs, you know? Then again, maybe they would? I mean, let’s be blunt about this; Amy Chastaine has a great body for someone in her forties and I’m guessing that most guys who were paying customers of her newly purchased gym would fancy the idea of playing a game of hide the weaner with her if given the chance, but it probably wouldn’t be great for business if people realised what went on in an unused upstairs room at the very same building that had only officially opened under the ownership of Amy Chastaine and her husband Wyatt the day before!

Who’d have thought that that would happen, huh? Amy Chastaine and Jason Helms, two people that the entire SCW universe were probably convinced hated each other if twitter is anything to go by, meeting up in secret for private liaisons of a balls-deep nature… and I’m not gonna lie, that aspect of things just made the whole thing more exciting, the idea that we were doing something ‘wrong’. But I was telling a story, wasn’t I? And that takes us back to why hands are fantastic things, because for almost a minute before collapsing into a heap in mutual orgasm, I had my hand pressed firmly across Amy’s mouth to avoid that situation I mentioned earlier where everyone in the gym downstairs discovered what she sounded like as she reached climax! I’m not kidding, it was clamped across her mouth, I had teeth marks in my hand for a good half an hour after. We were sweaty, exhausted… I have to admit, that woman has stamina; it took me by surprise the first time we had our fun, but I was ready for it the second time and by the time we were both done, I think I gave just as good as I got… at least the vice like grip as we finished told me I did anyway… and yes, I am grinning again right now…

“Gods,” Amy said, finally finding her voice again as she rolled over onto her back; we must have laid there in a heap for a good minute or so, just trying to catch our breath before finally disentangling ourselves from one another. My whole body was drenched in sweat and I looked over at Amy to see she was in the same state as I was; my eyes stung from it and Amy’s hair clung to her face and body as she moved, her chest heaving up and down. I won’t lie, it was quite a sight for the ego, it really was. Though I guess I couldn’t take full credit, given it was still hot as all hell in Nola and the humidity was through the roof insane, so how much of that sweat was from exertion and how much was the climate, I dunno. My ego would like to say the former was the major contributing factor though. “I am going to have to get the AC run up here,” she said, more to herself I think than to me, though I can wholeheartedly say that I thoroughly agreed with the sentiment, given how sticky my balls were, and that wasn’t just from the location that’d been hovering near some two minutes earlier! Fanning herself with her hand, Amy turned her head to look at me and I saw a grin spread across her face as she did. Evidently she felt as fulfilled as me at that moment in time…

“That was possibly the sweatiest gym workout I’ve ever had,” I told her with a smirk as I tried to push myself up to my elbows before deciding it was just too much effort to move yet and collapsing back down to the gym matting that we’d used as a bed. I was exhausted, she’s drained me literally and metaphorically, it was no joke when she said she had stamina! “Nope, not moving yet… I can’t feel my legs…” I told her with a laugh and she just shook her head at me.

“Neither can I… I can at least sit up though,” she replied with a smirk, poking fun at me as she turned onto her side and propped herself up on one arm. “And you were worried about my stamina?” she teased, still smirking at me. I thought about arguing that she had the home advantage, that she was used to how fucking humid it was in Nola… but given that she knew I’d once lived there too, and while California wasn’t exactly on the same level of Louisiana was, that wasn’t exactly cold either, so I knew I’d be onto a loser before I even said it.

I went with a simple frown instead. “It’s alright for you, you had knees and hands to keep you ballanced…” I joked, turning the frown into a half-smirk. “I was the one doing the balancing act, one knee, one leg… have you any idea how hard it is to balance like that, maintain rhythm and pull someone’s hair at the same time?!”

“I know exactly how hard it was,” she said mischievously, bringing up a foot to try and poke the tip of my cock and I actually shied away from her, which only made her smirk widen. “And my knee is going to hate you for it later, trust me,” she added, bringing her leg back towards herself so that she could bend and straighten it a few times.

A grin spread across my face as she lowered her leg again and looked back into my eyes. “Maybe,” I started, grinning slyly. “But I bet I can think of another body part that’s probably loving me right now…”

“You’ll never be mistaken for humble,” she told me with a laugh and I nodded my head in agreement; there wasn’t much point to modesty, under the circumstances. “By the way, when you can move… there’s a working shower back there.” She added, pointed vaguely towards the back of the room. The room we were in, it probably wasn’t the smartest choice of venues for our little rendezvous given it had one door that led directly downstairs, another that led to a set of external stairs like a fire escape and had windows lining one wall that overlooked the street… fortunately this wasn’t my first rodeo and Amy wasn’t exactly dumb; the doors were both locked and the blinds rolled almost all the way down so they let it a little light but didn’t give anyone in the building’s across the street a front row seat to the performance.

I was vaguely aware that there were other rooms that led off of the big room we were in; I assumed storage areas were the most likely explanation, so when she said there was a shower, I could have kissed her. Again. “There’s a fucking shower up here?” I asked in surprise. “I dunno if I want to clean up or cool down more right now, but either way a shower would be amazing…”

Amy let out another laugh. “Yeah,” she said with a shrug. “Gods know what they used this space for before, but it’s like a mini-locker room. Plumbing didn’t work, it was one of the things we had to fix before being able to reopen.” She said, brushing another strand of damp hair out of her eyes before turning her attention back to me. “Help yourself when your legs corporate…” she said with another laugh.

“If you wanna go first, I could probably use another few minutes yet,” I told her with another chuckle; I think it was painfully obvious to both of us that I was way more exhausted than Amy was. I should probably have been a little ashamed of myself. “All joking aside sweetheart, you weren’t kidding when you said you had stamina… I may need to work harder in the gym if this is going to keep happening.”

As if she was trying to rub it in just how tired I was compared to her, Amy sat up with ease and crossed her legs as she looked at me… but it wasn’t with a smirk that she did so now, because she had a curious look on her face as she cocked her head to one side while asking me a question I didn’t quite understand. “Is it?”

Somehow, and don’t ask me how, I found the energy to at least half sit up, propping myself up by the elbows. “Is it what?” I asked, no idea what she was talking about.

“Going to keep happening?” she asked, sounding just as curious as she looked. “I mean… I thought you typically did the one and done thing.”

She wasn’t wrong with that. That was kind of the point with mine and Aniya’s open relationship I guess, that we got to experience different partners instead of spending the rest of our lives only going to bed with one another… but the whole agreement was basically in place to allow us to give in to temptation if we wanted to, not to start a long-term secret affair, and I had to wonder if that was pushing the terms of our agreement beyond the acceptable limit. Aniya, already back home in California after attending the opening of the very gym I was laying naked inside of, god knows where Amy’s own husband was, probably at home or something… would either of them be happy if Amy and me wanted to keep this thing going long-term? “Serious talk so soon, huh?” I asked, chuckling a little. It wasn’t really a joke though; the conversation had turned more serious than it had been and to go from orgasm to weighty discussion in the space of a few short minutes was kind of impressive. “I uh… I guess that depends on you as much as anything? I mean, do you want it to keep going?” I asked, knowing it was probably her decision to make even if I was hoping she’d say yes; if Amy wanted it to end, then that was that.

“If I didn’t, you wouldn’t be here; this is round two, after all.” She told me with a grin. “But I wasn’t sure what to expect after today…”

It must have been strange for Amy to see my face not split with a grin or nursing a smirk on it, because she looked a little concerned as I finally managed to sit up and cross my own legs in front of me, hiding my still semi-erect cock as best I could. Probably wasn’t the best time for him to try and emphasize any point I make. “Well, I didn’t want to assume I guess?” I said, being completely honest with the stunning redhead who sat across from me, just as naked as I was, because honesty was the only real option at this point. When you’ve been balls-deep inside of someone, the least you can do is give pay them the respect of being honest with them. I’m not a fuckboy. “I mean, Oklahoma City was fun and given I was already coming here this weekend for the gym opening, this made sense too, but… well, I didn’t want to assume you thought of it as anything more than just a bit of fun,” I told her, trying to basically tell her that it was up to her. This wasn’t my decision to make.

“I didn’t know what I wanted, or would want... I’m the rookie, remember?” she told me with a grin, which fortunately broke the tension a little, because it needed it. “But, like you said when you asked if I was sure, we are on the road a lot… I mean, do you think we can go back to doing our own thing after this?” she asked, pointing to herself and me, pointing out the fact that we were both naked as the day we were born, still covered in sweat after having sex. Hard to argue with that logic, right?

I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling, like I said the tension was broken now and while it was still a fairly serious conversation, it was far more relaxed than it had been a few seconds earlier. “I’m not sure I want to go back to doing my own thing when you handle it so well for me…” I said with a smirk that got a comedic roll of the eyes from Amy for my troubles. “But point taken… and truthfully? I dunno, Chastaine… I mean, it’s a strange one for me, I’ll be honest. You’re right with what you said, I don’t normally go back to the well for want of a better phrase… once or twice I may have made a couple nights of it, but… well, this is a whole different ball game… but that doesn’t mean I’m in a rush to call time out either…”

Amy grinned, brushing the rest of her damp her out of her face, giving me a full view of her lips and as her hair fell behind her back, it also opened up the view of her magnificent chest. I felt a stirring down below and a smirk spread across my face before she’d even opened her mouth to speak. “Tell you what. Let’s just… keep the option open?”

“I have to admit, I am a fan of openings,” I replied, leaning forward as I ran a finger up the soft skin of the inside of her thigh. She had to know exactly what I was thinking, even without the fingertip stroking her leg, the look on my face must have said it all. “And you know… while I might not have the stamina that you do sweetheart,” I added, slowly leaning closer and closer towards her now as I continued. “I do recover a little quicker than you’d probably give me credit for… I think I might have just found my second wind…”

“Hmm,” she considered, smirking. “Maybe I missed my calling as a personal trainer… of a different sort,” she said with a huge smirk as she looked down at my hand creeping up her leg before looking back up. “Shower later then?” she asked, more stating the obvious than a genuine question.

I was up on my knees before she even finished speaking, leaning in closer to her as my hand ran along her side now, slowly guiding her backwards until she was laid down with me leaning down over her. “I think so,” I said and there was maybe half a second of silence where we looked at one another before I lunged in and our lips locked together again. Maybe it was the fact that it was so wrong for us to be doing what we were doing that made it as exciting as it was… maybe it was that the sex actually was incredible? Or maybe, in some deep dark secret part of my mind that I’ll never admit where anyone is around to listen, it’s that I’m actually into Amy Chastaine for being everything I couldn’t be anymore, that I’m actually attracted to her… but for whatever reason, I was seriously into what this was, more so than I usually am when I get to play hide the banana with someone that isn’t my wife! But in that moment in time, I wasn’t planning on trying to figure out what the reason was; why the fuck would I waste time thinking about the answer to that question when I could spend my time thinking about the second act in round two? And this time, I’d make damn sure that I tested her stamina to it’s limits… never let it be said that I’m not a giving guy. Ha.

See what I’m talking about? Decisions aren’t always made by the person they concern, and I get that. Maybe fate is something that’s already pre-determined, or maybe life just has a funny way of working out. David asked me to make his decision for him, but if he hadn’t come around to my place for advice I wouldn’t have had the chance to sway the balance… and while I was praying that Amy decided she didn’t want it to be a short term thing, I still allowed her to make the decision and while I had a preference, she was the one that decided the direction our future went in. Of course, it probably helped that the sex was incredible and who walks away from that? No one in their right mind, that’s for damn sure. But it all tied in… I mean, I still don’t know if I believe in fate or not, I’m not sure I even care whether it exists. It seems I can’t do any wrong right now, because even when things go wrong they seem to come out right in the end… if that shit keeps going, it’s only going to be a matter of time before I’m getting what I deserve from SCW too, and believe me, that’s the game plan there. It’s about time a Helms was breaking the main event in this company again, because god knows the kid isn’t ever going to reach that level if he doesn’t open his fucking mind a little and realize he’s wasting his time trying to be the nice guy! Whatever though, his career isn’t my fucking concern… right now I only give a damn about my own life and believe me, the future? It’s looking fucking good!

[Rec]

Jason Helms: “Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?”

As I stand there smirking into the camera, I can’t help but think about just how pissed off many people would have been after Apocalypse. I love the feeling of annoying people like that, I really do… it’s almost difficult to see how in the fuck David and me could be related really, isn’t it? Apart from the good looks that is…

Jason Helms: “Wasn’t Apocalypse just delightful, huh? I mean, it just had everything, didn’t it? We finally have a world champion worth respecting again, instead of one that makes you want to vomit as soon as she opens her mouth. My nephew and his woman and child friendly tag partner retained their titles showing why they’re one of the greatest tag teams in the company right now. A veritable legend and future Hall of Famer in Chad Evans made his return to action for the first time in a couple of years, and above all else… Adrenaline Rush had a pretty crappy night all round thanks to the efforts of four people who probably had no business teaming together and yet did so with apparent ease once that bell went ding! Imagine that, ladies and germs; on the one side of the ring, you have a group of people that are an already-established team, a group of four people that include a tag team that’s got years of experience together under their belts… and they’re up against four people who don’t really care about one another, four people where okay, two of them may be fucking, but as a whole, don’t give a damn about each other… and the one who you assholes look most down upon, she scores the damn pinfall victory for that team! Lexi Von Aaron might be a lot of the things that people say she is, and as much as some of her antics may have made me chuckle I can’t deny that even I’ve wondered about her mental clarity on a few occasions… but she shocked every single fucking one of you that night, you can’t even begin to deny that! We all know how Lexi is viewed around this place, she’s looked down on, judged and sure, in some cases it’s rightly so. As much as I had to concede I was left with no choice but to team with her given the troubles she’s had with my own nephew, Lexi Von Aaron showed exactly what she’s capable of at Apocalypse and I’m fairly sure that Adrenaline Rush probably did a lot of wound-licking afterwards when they had to accept that they lucked out again when it mattered!”

Jason Helms: “See, this whole Adrenaline Rush issue, it’s an extension of my issues with the big man-baby himself Konrad Raab… and while I didn’t exactly care for any of the other three to begin with, I can’t say they were really on my radar either, until they decided that adding another loser into the loser’s club made sense. Strength in numbers I guess? Whatever the reasons, my issue is still with the big German lug nut himself and while it was fun scoring another victory over him and his buddies at Apocalypse, I think it’s painfully obvious that he’s going to want another chance to get his hands on me in the not too distant future because we all know his views on me and how I act in the business, don’t we? So predictable Konnie… and yet you once again fell into a trap laid by me, despite all this rebuilding work you’ve gone through lately. What’s this, the fifth reiteration since I came here? Pretty sad that you still haven’t figured out just who the fuck you are yet bro, but you keep on searching Konrad, sooner or later I’m sure you’ll find a version you’re willing to stick with for more than a couple of minutes at a time!”

I can’t help but let out a little laugh before sighing and with a shake of the head, I turn my attention back to the task at hand.

Jason Helms: “But let’s shift this away from Konrad and concentrate on the task at hand, shall we? Because while Apocalypse was fun and while it was amusing for my own sake to pick up another victory over the manliest and babiest of man-baby’s in the whole world… we’re right back at it again, aren’t we? That’s right, this week Supreme Championship Wrestling rolls into the city of sin itself, Las freaking Vegas! And the best part is that I don’t have to fly across the entire country before I can continue to embarrass people inside of that ring… I’m half tempted to just drive from California, though an hour on a plane and done is probably more convenient. Funny thing is, I actually enjoy the travelling. I mean, I’ve got my reasons for it, but aside from it being a bit of a pain in the ass to deal with airport security and those annoying as fuck fans that won’t leave you alone…”

With a grin, I pause and wink into the camera before continuing.

Jason Helms: “…I actually quite enjoy the chance to get some thinking done, to figure out a game plan for any upcoming match or probably more likely to figure out how I’m going to fuck with someone for my own amusement on the next show. I’m a douche bag, it brings me happiness, fuck you! I don’t do this to be liked, that’s the important thing to remember. I do it for the money and the success; I followed my brother into the business all those years ago because I looked up to him and I wanted to emulate him, but now? Well, a lot of water has passed under the bridge – believe me on that, it’s not just a saying! – and I came to SCW to get what was due to me. Because while this company doesn’t really owe me shit, this business sure as fuck does! And as much fun as I’m having messing around with the man-baby and his band of merry dipshits in the Losers Club, I also have to remind myself that every single match is an opportunity to make a statement. Another win to chalk up on the record and another exclamation point on the end of the sentence that says that this company can’t ignore what I bring to the table forever! Gold, ladies and germs, people have it and I want it. And I’m not talking in a Mr. T, draped in Bling kind of way… this company has a slew of titles and I think it’s about time I forced my way into the picture! The irony is, half the champions right now are probably worth respecting, they actually bring something to the table instead of pandering to you fuckwits who watch the product… so maybe I should bide my time and wait to see what happens? Who knows. But I can definitely deal with a few more of the pandering fuckwits until I decide it’s time to act, which is exactly what I plan to do this Wednesday night when I step into the ring with one quarter of the Loser’s Club who lost to us at Apocalypse… Step forward Mr Stacy Kissinger; Craig Thomas!”

Jason Helms: “You bitter, Craig? You angry? Frustrated? Regretting a few decisions maybe? You should be. All of the above in fact… and you should definitely be asking yourself a few questions right now, like which was the bigger mistake, to say I do to Stacy when you got married or to invite Man-Baby to the Adrenaline Rush party for starters! Got to hand it to you though man, I’m impressed that you can actually put up with Kissinger the way you do; I’d probably have been driven insane by the singing or just talkin’ by now… I’d probably be up on a murder charge in fact, so maybe that’s one way that you can claim to be the better man than me I guess? It’s the only way though. What, you’re surprised by that? Listen dude, my brother may have once publically stated that he saw you and T-T-T-Tyler as the future of the tag team division when he faced off against you, but I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass kid, I call it as I see it and right now I see someone who’s made questionable decisions, who’s struggling to buy a win of any significance or cling to anything for more than two minutes and right now, I’m partially insulted that SCW has booked me against someone so below me that I wondered for a couple minutes whether I should stay at home and give Breakdown a miss this week! Yeah, call me arrogant all you want, I can’t argue with it… but the fact is Craig, I don’t respect you. And that’ll probably come as no surprise, given how little I cared about the stunt I pulled back at Apocalypse, but thems the brakes kid, that’s just how it is! And I’m probably going to be judged poorly for saying that; we’ve all heard people that come from the school of thought that you can’t possibly get anything out of victory over someone if you don’t at least slightly respect them… and it’s a fair point, I get that thinking, I can at least see where they’re coming from. But let me counter with a simple explanation for why I’m going to take a lot away from victory over you on Wednesday night Craig, because it’s a real simple explanation to understand…”

I take a step toward the camera so that my face is in clearer focus, making sure that Craig can fully understand what I say next.

Jason Helms: “I’m going to take a great sense of satisfaction from embarrassing you, dude. I’m going to pin your shoulders to the canvas, not caring that you’re below me, but enjoying the fact that I’ve put you in your place! I don’t like you, I don’t like your tag partner or your wife, and I fucking detest that big ugly fuck you took pity on a few weeks back… so beating you isn’t going to be meaningless for me, it’ll give me one hell of a kick to watch the bitter disappointment in your face! You probably want justice; if what happened to you had happened to me at Apocalypse, if I’d been rolled up by someone who’s practically seen as a laughing stock at the last show and pinned to the canvas for the one two three, I’d probably want to kick someone’s ass too… and I really hope you do have that fire burning under your ass right now, because that’s only going to make it that bit more entertaining for me when I stick my foot so far up your ass that you’ll spend the rest of the night chewing on my sneaker! It’s all my fault Craig, it’s all my fault that you guys lost at Apocalypse… focus on that, bro. Let that fact consume you. If it wasn’t for my antics, if it wasn’t for my bluff, my faking an injury, the rest of your team wouldn’t have ended up focusing on the entrance ramp instead of the ring and Chad wouldn’t have been able to clock you in the back of the head, Lexi wouldn’t have been able to drop your ass with the Operation LeX and you wouldn’t have eaten the pinfall against a team that shouldn’t have been able to work together what so ever! I cost you a victory Craig, me… and I laughed. I looked at the ring after the bell rang again and I laughed; I laughed at you, at Tyler, Stacy and Konrad too! I laughed at how easy it was to play you, how easy it was for us to do the job in front of us… and Lexi, she wrestled every second of that match for our team! The four of you took turns trying to take her out and instead one woman beat you more or less… four on one. Damn, Stacy probably hasn’t thought about those kinds of numbers since the Infection days! Big thanks to @JasonH_Fan on twitter for that joke, I had no idea what Infection was until they sent it me, but who doesn’t love a good gangbang joke, huh?”

If I’m not angering this jackass beyond belief yet, there’s something wrong with the kid; he’s either a saint or a moron, maybe both… but something tells me I’m going to be getting to him just as I plan. Sometimes being a cunt is just way too fun to be healthy…

Jason Helms: “Fact is, Craig… this week, you’re probably walking into our match with all the drive and passion to succeed that you could ever want. And I have to respect that much at least, because I know I’ll need to be wary so I can grab that victory. But I’m not some eternally nice guy like my big brother, and I’m not some naïve kid like my nephew, who thinks it’s all about the spirit of competition. I was younger than you are now, younger than AJ is now when I stepped into this business and people tell me I’m too bitter for my own good but when you’ve been through what I’ve been through because of this industry, then I’ll listen to your opinion! And Craig… you might think you’re edgy, you can run around flipping people off all you like, this whole ‘take no crap’ attitude of yours is all well and good but at the end of the day bro, you’re playing at a grown up’s game right now. When push comes to shove, are you truly going to go that extra mile that I’ll go without hesitation? You can say what you want about how you probably are willing and able to bend, force or break those rules, but after everything you’ve gone through, after all the misery you’ve had over the past few months… you’ve still not realized that you could make this oh so much easier on yourself if you’d stop clinging to the outdated notion that rules mean a damn thing! But you go ahead Craig, you go ahead and chastise me all you want, tell me I’m scum, tell me you’ll show me exactly why I made a mistake at Apocalypse… and when I’m done laughing bro, I’ll see you in Vegas on Wednesday. It’s time for you and these idiots who love you to realize that it Helms name isn’t solely belonging to do-gooders and upstarts. It’s all about the name, Craig… and you’ll figure that out when you hear good old Phillips say the words ‘here is your winner, Jason Helms’… see you Wednesday.”

[/Rec]