Ryan Watson :: The Prodigal One ::

STARRING:

[Crossing The Atlantic: Season 3 - Chapter 005]
.:| “A Hole Where You Don't Want One” |:.

“I just feel like we should be doing something to celebrate our win, that’s all…” Autumn Valentine said from the passenger seat of Ryan’s old Chevrolet Nova as they drove up the coast. The car had spent the last few years covered up in the garage of the home he co-owned with his cousin Tom in San Dimas but after his Ferrari was an insurance write off following the collision with a drunk driver he’d had to bring it out of moth balls or his only transport would have been his Ducati motorcycle and that was great for fun but not exactly practical when transporting the two of them and whatever stuff the pair of them had with them at the time. It felt good though, being back behind the wheel of the car he bought eight years ago now; it may be old, a classic in fact, and it may eat gas like a fat fuck at an all you can eat buffet, but it was familiar. And if that wasn’t a metaphor for his career in SCW then Ryan didn’t know what was! He’d wrestled in other companies since departing SCW, but none of them had felt the same… but now he was back and by Jove, it was paying off! Rise to Greatness was proof of that; it may be in the rear view now, and they may be on their midsummer break from the show schedule, but that moment hasn’t left him. Winning the World Tag Team Championships with Autumn had been an amazing feeling and it was proof-positive that he had done the right thing by returning, even if his body took a little longer to bounce back from the matches than it once had. “I don’t even know what, I just think we should do something to celebrate. Not like a party or anything, I’m not that arrogant and fuck social functions even if I’m the one hosting them,” Autumn went on as Watson chuckled to himself; even the idea of hosting a party was enough to set Autumn’s anxiety off, but he wasn’t surprised by that it in slightest. “But we just won the tag titles after what, five matches together? And that’s including the title match! Which is fucking hilarious given how much we both pointed out it was going to take time to get into a groove as a team in those first promos… we definitely need to do something to celebrate this!”

“Like what though, love?” Watson asked as he pulled around a slow moving mini van ahead of them and accelerated to overtake. “Y’ dunt want a party, ‘cause they mek y’ cringe, an’ am kinda at a loss f’ owt else t’ suggest t’ be honest. A mean, we’ve bin off for a week anyroad, an’ done nowt but just bugger off t’ places an’ stuff, so goin’ off on us jollies somewhere ain’t really gonna be much of a celebrations either…” he told his wife, his eyes still locked on the road ahead. Ever since the accident, his actual driving hadn’t really changed, but his concentration levels had. He tried not to take his eyes off of the road for even a second, even if he was still as aggressive a driver as he ever was. “Am open f’ suggestion babe, but wi’ the limitations am not sure a’ve got owt to offer…”

“That’s the problem dude, I don’t know,” Autumn said, sighing. “I just feel like I want to do something, even if I don’t know what, you know? Sure, it’s not my first rodeo, I won the titles before, but winning them with you is cool, and with the new ‘fuck it’ attitude, I just think it’s be cool to do something to remember the victory by…”

Watson nodded his head, he understood where his wife was coming from even if he didn’t know what to suggest. “Might not be your first rodeo love, but it is mine,” he told her. “Me an’ Tom never won the belts when we were a team, no matter how many times we had a crack at it…”

“Aww, is it still a sore subject baby?” Autumn asked mockingly, grinning as Ryan flipped her the bird with his eyes still turned to the road ahead. He already knew what her facial expression would look like without even having to look over at her to find out. “It’s okay baby, the tag division was just tough back then, that’s all…”

“You wanna be careful love, if Kandis an’ Tommy ‘ear y’ talkin’ like that, they ain’t gonna be impressed,” Ryan told his wife, who grinned once again.

“Yeah well, no offence meant dude, but I’m fairly sure the both of them would understand I was only trying to pander to your bruised ego, given the context,” she replied with a short giggle before sitting back in her chair to throw her feet up onto the cars dashboard. “I’m being serious though Ry, I feel like we should do something to commemorate this. We’re supposed to have this new ‘fuck it’ attitude, but we’ve not even gone on a proper vacation despite SCW being on its summer break… we should do something!”

“A’ve told y’ love, am open to suggestion!” Ryan repeated, more for the sake of contributing than anything. He was open to ideas, he just didn’t have any. He wasn’t the one wanting to mark the milestone with some event or action, he was just happy with the knowledge that he was a champion and the fifty thousand dollar bonus it would bring would be more than appreciated. But in turn, he was happy to support Autumn if she wanted to do something for it. He just wasn’t going to do the thinking for her. “What a‘bart a tattoo? Can be as bold or as subtle as tha wants wi’ them things, doesn’t have to be as full on as Kandi’s arm or full etch’a’sketch mode like that dick, Helms?”

“I dunno about that dude,” Autumn replied, sounding dubious. “I mean, I’m not exactly one of those infinity symbol and feathers kind of girls, am I? And don’t you dare suggest a tramp stamp, because driving or not I will hit you!”

A smirk spread across the yorkshireman’s face but he said nothing, at least not at first anyway. He wasn’t going to suggest such a thing to be fair, but the joke was still difficult to resist, even under the threat of violence from his wife. And he didn’t doubt she would do it either! “Dunt need t’ be owt as generic as that though love,” he finally replied, once he was sure he would be able to avoid making the type of joke that she’d specifically warned him not to. “That’s the thing wi’ tats ain’t it, they can carry whatever meanin’ y’ gi’ ‘em. If y’ get one’a a bull brekkin’ a bicycle an’ claim it’s celebratin’ the declaration’a independence then fair enough! Want a fairy takin’ a shit on a photo’a Donald Trump to claim its celebratin’ women’s rights? Crack on then. The meanin’ ain’t gotta be obvious to anyone but thee,” he explained, though he wasn’t sure why he was bothering because it wasn’t as if he was actively trying to convince her to get one. Tattoos looked great, and yeah, women with them were hot, but he already though Autumn was the best looking woman in the world, so adorning herself with small pictures wouldn’t change anything in his opinion.

“I get that,” she replied, her opinion evidently no different to before. “And that’s cool, it’s all great stuff, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’d have no idea what to actually get, dude. It’s not like I’m gonna walk into the next tattoo studio we see and demand they tattoo the face plate of the tag title on my ass cheek, is it?” She said, laughing. “Oh god, can you imagine? It’d bring a whole new meaning to kissing a title once you’ve won it, huh?”

Ryan laughed. “Well, a mean, i always did say you ‘ad a champion arse, love…”

“The chick with the twenty four carrott booty,” Autumn said, laughing even as she said it.

Ryan laughed too, the pair of them laughing together until the moment passed and Ryan’s attention drifted back to what they’d been discussing. “Could always get ‘Zero Fucks’ across y’ knuckles…” he suggested, only half thinking the idea through.

Autumn’s brow furrowed first as she thought about it, then her face scrunched up in confusion before she had to stifle a laugh. “Zero fucks? Plural?” She asked, looking for confirmation that her husband actually had suggested that.

“Aye, y’ know, team name an’ all?” He confirmed, his voice taking on a somewhat defensive tone, as if he could sense the derisive way in which Autumn was using this particular line of questioning.

“Nine letters?” She asked, giving away the reason for her mocking tone now, though Ryan wasn’t exactly quick on the uptake. “Nine letters… across eight knuckles…” she asked him and realisation hit him like a slap to the face.

“...shurrup,” was all he managed in his own defence and Autumn couldn’t help but laugh at him; poor Ryan had never been the sharpest knife in the drawer at times and that comment only went to prove it.

“Jesus, dude…” Autumn managed through her laughter. “I mean, I get the reason for the suggestion, but come on, you can do basic math!” she teased, continuing to chuckle at her husband as he sulked in the driving seat. She was still laughing several seconds later but the look on his face was making her feel kind of bad and she tried to pull herself together for his sake. “Besides, even if I got Zero Fuck across my knuckles, it’s not exactly a glowing endorsement, is it? People are gonna think it just means I don’t put out for you, and we both know that isn’t true…”

A hint of a smirk spread across Ryan’s face despite the fact he was still trying to sulk and he couldn’t keep up the pretence any longer. “Aye, fair point… still would’ve bin better than suggestin’ y’ get a tramp stamp though…” he said, still kind of sulkily despite the fact he was coming round again. “Well, am all outa ideas, love… y’ on y’ own nah…”

“Hey, this was your idea!” Autumn fired back at him. It wasn’t as if she was the one to suggest it, and she wasn’t sure she wanted one anyway. “Besides, it’s not just coming up with ideas anyway, is it? You’ve got to figure out where you want it on your body, will it look good, you’ve got to find a good artist and do research and make sure the studio isn’t a huge toxic waste dump of grossness… not really a spare of the moment thing, is it?”

Ryan has to admit that she did have a point about that. Even if she knew exactly what she wanted, the chances of her getting it done that day were slim at best and no bloody chance in all likelihood. “S’pose y’ rate love,” he conceded with a shrug. “Were only an idea, anyroad…”

“And it was a good one baby, it really was…” Autumn replied, in an attempt to mollycoddle her husband and make him feel better about being so dumb only a moment or two earlier. It worked. As noted; not the sharpest knife in the drawer. “Then again…”

Ryan cast a sideways glance at her as Autumn appeared to be mulling something over. “Then again what?” he asked, impatient at her apparent collapse into thoughtful silence.

Autumn looked out of the window for a moment longer before turning to look at her husband. “A tattoo is probably out, for the reasons we just talked about… but what about a piercing?” she asked, and the expression plastered across her face suggested she was asking herself whether is was a good idea as much as she was asking Ryan the same question.

And Ryan’s immediate reaction turned out to be to laugh. Autumn immediately frowned at him, not sure why he was laughing the way he was and spotting the frown he tried his best to put a lid on it. “Sorry love, it’s just…” he started, trying his best to stifle another snort of laughter before finally pulling himself together. “Well, a weren’t laughin’ at the idea’a y’ gettin’ a piercin’ as such… a just got this mental image’a y’, y’ know, bits, clinkin’ an’ dingin’ from hoops rattlin’ around in ‘em…” he explained before creasing up again. As Autumn realised what he meant, she slapped him on the arm, clearly unimpressed with the suggestion.

“Eww, dude, no!” Autumn told her husband, clearly grossed out. “I’m not talking about that kind of piercing, that’s just gross!” she proclaimed before sitting back in her seat in a huff, arms folded across her chest.

“Oi, cut that art, will y’!” Ryan fired back, mentally rolling his eyes. “A mean, if nowt else, ain’t it sayin’ summet that a were thinkin’ a’bart your fangita rather’n someone elses? Besides, it were just a funnt image that flashed through me ‘ead, not a suggestion, so lighten up will tha?” he asked, and Autumn grudgingly unfolded her arms again. “So a piercin’? Really?” Watson asked, casting a sideways glance at Autumn before his eyes flicked back to the road.

“Well, not the kind you were clearly thinking about dude,” Autumn said, defensively. “But I mean… yes? Or maybe no? I don’t know now, you don’t seem to think it’s a good idea…”

“A dint say that,” Ryan disagreed, his eyes locked on the road. He wasn’t sure what he thought about the idea, but it wasn’t his body either, so what right did he really have anyway? “A mean, if it’s what y’ wanna do then why not, y’ know? What we talkin’, like, ear, belly button? Lip maybe?” he asked, wondering what Autumn was thinking. He just hoped it wasn’t going to be one of those horrible fucking upper lip piercings, because they just looked like giant fucking moles right on the face and he wasn’t really down for that…

“I’m not sure,” Autumn answered, thoughtfully. It wasn’t as if she’d given the idea much thought, after all. In fact, the only reason she had thought of it was because Ryan had mentioned the idea of her maybe getting a tattoo as a way of commemorating the tag title success and the two sort of went hand in hand with one another. “Don’t really want anything in the head region, because fuck having it ripped from my skin during a match… we bleed easily enough already without give people a target,” she told him, shivering at the idea before continuing. “At the same time, that kind of limits the options, doesn’t it? I mean, naval has the same issues as the face really…”

“Aye, last thing y’ want is gettin’ kicked in’t stomach an’ it rips y’ piercin’ art,” Watson said, nodding his head. “But that dunt exactly leave y’ wi’ many options, does it? A mean, it’s basic’ly tongue, nipple or… well, the one we already agreed ain’t happenin’...” he added, chuckling a little to himself as Autumn sighed.

“Tongue could be fun…” the raven-haired young woman said to herself as much as to her husband as she thought about it. “Though I read that it decreases your sense of taste and can actually fuck up your speech pattern too, if it’s not done right…” she went on, going over the arguments against. “And speaking is kind of important in our job, you know? Plus I wouldn’t be able to eat anything solid for a couple days after because it’d hurt…”

“Can think’a one crackin’ reason why a wunt mind y’ gettin’ it done though,” Watson said with an enormous grin on his face as he switched lanes and prepared to take the next exit off the Pacific Coast Highway so they could head for Port Hueneme.

“What’s with you today, huh?!” Autumn asked, frowning at her husband. “First you’re talking about my vagina covered in rings, now you want me to get my tongue pierced because it’ll improve the head? Jesus Ry, pull your mind out of the gutter, would you?”

“Babe, y’ basically tryin’ t’ pick between a tongue piercin’ or a nipple piercin’... if me head ain’t in’t gutter, am dead an’ drivin’ this car as a corpse…” Watson argued, and Autumn did her best to hide the smile that was trying to force its way across her lips. “A mean, when y’ think a’bart it, it’s win-win for me, ain’t it? Either y’ already fantastic blowjob game goes up a notch, or I get to play wi’ a nipple piercin’, which is gonna be fun in it’s own right… so everyone’s a winner, ain’t they?”

She couldn’t stifle the laugh any longer and let out a little chuckle as she grabbed her phone from the dashboard and unlocked the screen. “So I’m gonna google tattoo studios in Port Hueneme, there’s got to be one or two out this way, right?” she asked as she typed into the search bar. “Yeah, here we go… there’s one by the beach and another just the other side of the marina. We could totally do this today, while we’re out here!” she said, smiling as she locked her phone again and turned to look at her husband. “What do you think baby, you game?” she asked and Ryan just shrugged.

“If it’s what y’ wanna do love then why not,” Watson said casually; if that was what Autumn wanted to do with her body then he was up for it. It wasn’t as if it was him having to do it after all, was it? He was all for the freedom of expression and if that was how Autumn chose to express herself then so be it. “Once we get theer an’ get parked up, we can ‘ave a wander round an’ check one’a ‘em art, if ya want?”

“So you think it’s a good idea?” Autumn asked, sounding sort of surprised, which struck Watson as odd. Why wouldn’t he think it was? If that was what she wanted to do then it was her decision not his! “I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you’d be up for it. But now I know you are I think I’m more convinced!” she told him happily, smiling to herself as she settled back in her chair. “I’m thinking nipple… that way it’s something only we get to see, which works because it’s a personal reminder of our win, you know? What about you, baby?”

“Aye, nipple works love,” Watson said, concentrating on driving now they were off the highway and onto the local roads that meant he needed to pay more attention.

Autumn was once again taken aback by his words, but she looked at him with a look that showed she was clearly impressed. “Wow, really? That’s kinda surprised me, dude. I thought you might be worried it’d be a little exposed when in the ring…” she said, but Watson wasn’t fully paying attention when he replied with a lazy “nah” and didn’t elaborate on it. “Okay then!” Autumn said happily, beaming at this point. She hadn’t expected Ryan to agree so readily, not to something so impulsive. Then again, they had taken on something of a new outlook as of late, hadn’t they? Or she had anyway… Watson had always had a ‘fuck it’ kind of attitude, it was just that Autumn had inherited it when they married. That was his theory anyway, even if it made no sense in practice.

And so the plan was agreed. They arrived in Port Hurneme, a place neither of them had any real desire to visit but had gone anyway to kill some of the downtime following the biggest show of the year, and found a place to park that was relatively close to the beach and marina. They basically had two options to choose from with the studios and ended up using reviews on google to decide on the beach front shop over the other, and then they explored the town. It wasn’t as if they’d drove out there just so Autumn could let a guy shove a needle through her skin, after all; they ate lunch at a little bistro down a side street and explored the shops - mostly tourist crap which did nothing for either of them - and went for a walk down to the marina to look at the yachts that were moored up. Ryan had joked that they should use some of Autumn’s money to get one, but when Autumn actually started considering it Ryan was quick to point out it was only a joke. He didn’t fare well on the open seas so buying a boat was the last thing he wanted to do. Not until they invented a working cure for seasickness anyway! Maybe someday though… which was a weird though to have, it dawned on him.

He’d always dreamed, when he was younger, of the day he made it. He’d become a star, earning the top money and would eventually be able to buy himself all the luxury stuff that people tend to blow their money on when they become rich. And in a lot of ways he had made it: he was a star, he was on national television every week and had just won more championship gold at another pay per view too. He made halfway decent money and was married to a beautiful woman in the same position… but part of him also had to admit that he hadn’t started living the life he thought he would when he was still a kid, and the reason for that was glaringly obvious. He wasn’t the one with the money. It was an odd realisation for him, but Ryan realised that while he did have the sports car before it was wrecked, it wasn’t his money that bought it. That was all Kennedy. And while he was one half of a wealthy marriage now… the money mostly - and by mostly it should actually be almost entirely - belonged to Autumn. She was the one with the inheritance, she was the one who was wildly rich, and Ryan just happened to be the guy that she loved and had tied the knot with. The money didn’t feel like his, even if he was legally allowed to spend it, and because of that he was still living within his means, only spending what he could afford off of his monthly cheque from SCW. Autumn had told him time after time that he needn’t worry about it, but what was he gonna do, start throwing the bills around like he was the star of some rap video? No chance of that happening. It wasn’t that he was dissatisfied with hit lot; he’d bust his ass to get the respect he believed he deserved in that ring and when he returned it felt right, that he had found his place again, but until he reached the top and started making the top money, he wouldn’t feel like he could live that kind of life…

That didn’t really make Autumn happy either. She had gone to every effort to get rid of the money in any way she could when she got it, because she had no idea what to do with all that cash. She’d tried to give it away, to donate it, waste it on stuff for others, sometimes herself… but in the end she cane to the realisation that having it didn’t mean she had to use it, to live like she possessed it. She was one of the lucky ones that didn’t let large sums of money change who she was and in a way Ryan was truly happy about that, because the last thing he wanted was to go back to the way things had been for him when he was with Kennedy! She had loved him, in her own way, and she had given him everything he’d wanted financially… but he wasn’t interested in any of that. It wasn’t his money, he hadn’t earned it. He just wanted to be comfortable and he’d always been comfortable with Autumn, money or no money. “Hello? Earth to Ryan, anyone home?” Autumn asked, dragging him out of his thoughts and back to planet earth.

“Eh? Oh, sorry love, miles away,” he apologised, pulling himself together.

“You usually are dude,” Autumn said with a grin. “I asked if you were ready?”

“For what?” Watson replies, trying to play catch up. Evidently she had been talking to him, but he had no idea what she’d been saying, he had drifted off into his own head…

“The studio! What we talked about earlier?” she told him, looking at him quizzically, wondering where the hell his head had been. In truth, he wasn’t exactly sure why he’d been away with the fairies like he was, the conversation about the yachts had brought it all back. It was funny though, because despite the comparisons that his subconscious was drawing, it had occurred to Watson just how truly happy he now was. And as a Yorkshireman, to actually admit that, it was quite something! “What ‘s got into you, huh?”

He laughed. “Just away wi’ the fairies love, that’s all,” he told her, brushing the whole thing aside; there was no need to bring up just what he had been thinking about, it wasn’t a conversation they needed to have. “Alrate, so y’ ready f’ this this? A mean, it’s you were on a’bart ‘ere, ain’t it… this is kinda big, all things considered…”

“Nah dude, this isn’t big,” Autumn said, waving away his arguments with an actual wave of her hand. “Some random dude seeing my boob isn’t anywhere near as big an issue as, say, that day I accidentally send you a nude instead of… well, you know who…” she said, actually blushing at the part where she nearly mentioned Gable’s name. “I mean, they’re just boobs, right? You guys might romanticise them, but ultimately they’re just, you know, there… just a slightly bigger version of what guys have.”

Watson’s immediate reaction to those words had been to be impressed; in all the years they’d known one another, nothing could have prepared him to hear those words come out of Autumn’s mouth. Evidently she truly had taken the ‘No Fucks’ attitude to heart, she was actually impressing him with her lack of stress over various situations, this being a prime example of exacly that. “Well, al be honest love, am impressed,” he admitted. “Twelve months ago, you’d have been shittin’ bricks a’bart the idea’s whippin’ out a breasticle in front’a some random bloke in a tattoo studio…”

“Twelve months ago, our marriage was a shame and I was dating Gable; hell of a fucking lot has happened in twelve months, dude!” Autumn told him with a laugh, smirking at her husband as he started to grin. “Besides, it’s not like I’ll ever have to see whoever does it again, is it? So even if I end up having to sit there half naked while they do it, who cares? I’ve been through much worse, so whatever. Fuck it. Zero Fucks to Give, dude!” she finished, winking as she pointed at the t-shirt that Ryan was wearing, one of the SCW branded t-shirts for their tag team.

He couldn’t help but be impressed as he just nodded his head before rubbing his hands together in readiness. “Alrate then love, crack google maps art an’ let’s figure art where we’re goin’ then, shall we?” he said, excitedly. Not that he was particularly excited over the idea of visiting a tattoo studio but the whole thing was evidently something Autumn felt like she needed to do in order to truly address the fresh start for her career that Ryan’s return to SCW had played a large part in.

It took all of five minute for them to actually find the studio on foot, leaving the car parked in the lot they’d pulled into when they first arrived in Port Hueneme. You couldn’t miss the studio, thanks to the large neon sign outside that told the world exactly what the place was. They walked through the door of Everblack Tattoo Studio and Ryan was expecting the place to be dark given the name, but the whole room was lit up bright and in a way that made sense because how can you tattoo in the dark, but even the colour scheme was light. “Hey guys, what can I do for you?” the guy behind the counter asked, putting his phone down on the counter as soon as they entered.

“Hi,” Autumn said brightly, defying all Ryan’s expectations; usually, he had to do the talking most of the time because anxiety is a cunt of the highest order, but clearly today was a positivity day, because Autumn was surprising him left right and centre it seemed. “So, I don’t know if you have to take bookings for piercings like you do most tattoos, but we’ve come to get pierced,” Autumn said, smiling brightly and the guy nodded before returning the smile.

“Alright, cool, no problem!” the guy behind the counter said and he grabbed an open book from under the counter. “We don’t usually expect bookings for a piercing, we just fit them in when our resident body mod artist is free, which actually… is now, as it happens. Her appointment was a no-show, so if you’re up for it ,we can do it right now?” he asked, looking up from the book at Autumn, who was almost bouncing on the spot with excitement. Ryan found the whole thing kind of cute actually, though the smirk on his face probably made it look more like he was laughing at her than anything. “So I’ll take that as a yes? Excellent. So, what is it you’re wanting done?”

“We were thinking nipple,” Autumn replied as Ryan’s attention drifted again, to the artwork on the walls. The sound of conversations from the various stations drifted towards him and he heard snapshots of conversation without really hearing anything but before he knew it, Autumn’s fingers were enclosing his and he was being lead through the studio to the back where a blonde chick sat at the last station.

“Neve, you’ve got customers,” the guy said to the blonde, who had been drawing on her iPad until her name was called out.

“Oh, thanks Robby,” the girl said, beaming at both Autumn and Ryan. “Hi, I’m Neve, what can I do for you today?” she asked and Autumn explained again while Ryan went back to looking around, watching the various stations where people were getting new tattoos, before he was being tugged by the hand again as they headed for a back room that - presumably - offered a little more privacy than the main room of the studio. “Alright, if you want to remove your bra first but leave your shirt on, that’d be great. I’m gonna get everything set up and then we’ll see about numbing things up, how’s that sound?” the tattoo artist asked and Autumn nodded.

“Sounds good,” she said, squeezing Ryan’s hand a little before letting go to reach around her back to unclip her bra.

Ryan took a seat on one of the chairs by the side of the room as Autumn sat down on the chair right in the middle of the floor and the blonde pulled on a pair of black disposable gloves before opening the top drawer of a plastic rack of drawers to pull out a white box. “So this is a fresh needle,” she said, opening the box to take a still-packaged piercing needle. “Not sure if you know what we do, but it’s pretty simple. I’ll make it up on either side to make sure the piercing will be straight, and once you’re happy with the placement, we’ll sterilise and clam it up. All the clamp does is pull the skin tight, okay? So nothing to worry about. The needle actually attaches to the jewellery, which I pull back through with the needle. Shouldn’t take more than a couple of seconds in total… everything good?” Neve asked and Autumn just nodded. “Okay babe, what I want you to do is lift up your top on the side you want pierced and we’l give it a quick markup and clean. Do you want something to numb it first?” she asked but Autumn shook her head.

“I deal with pain quite a bit through my job, I think I can handle a needle,” Autumn told the tattoo artist, as she lifted her shirt.

“Alright, cool,” Neve replied, grabbing a single use alcohol wipe from another box in the drawer, along with a felt tip pen. “Then just lemme mark this up... “ she said, removing the cap from the pen to eye up dots on either side of Autumn’s nipple. “Aaaannnd…. Okay, if you wanna look in the mirror, see if you’ve happy with the placement?” she suggest and Autumn nodded before getting up to look in the mirror. She seemed satisfied because she turned and gave another nod before walking back over to her seat in the middle of the room. “Sweet. Just gonna run this over the area then. It may be cold, but not much I can do about that I’m afraid…” the blonde told Autumn, taking a sterilising wipe and removing it from its packaging. The tattoo artist disinfected the skin around Autumn’s nipple and Autumn did indeed groan a little at how cold it was but she didn’t complain. Maybe she was too frightened to say anything now everything was underway, though Ryan didn’t think so. He didn’t see fear in his wife’s face, but confidence. It was strange, but oddly attractive to see that in her for once. “Alright, you’re gonna feel a sharp sting, but it’ll be over in no time at all, okay?” Neve said and Autumn just nodded, leaning her head back to look up into the ceiling, gripping Ryan’s hand tightly.

Autumn sucked in through her teeth as the needle went through the skin but she didn’t cry out, Ryan only noticing the briefest moment of strengthening her grip on his hand as the tattoo artist ensured Autumn that she was nearly done. “Wait, that’s it?” Autumn asked little more than ten seconds later when Neve informed them she was all done. “Wow, it really was nothing!” Autumn said happily as she stood up and made her way to the mirror, forgetting all about her modesty as she admired her new addition.

“Looks champion that, love…” Ryan told his wife, also admiring the view but for entirely different reasons. How had it taken him so bloody long to admit how he truly felt?! “An’ y’ did brilliantly an’ all, ‘ardly felt y’ flinch.”

“It wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I was expecting,” Autumn told them before turning back to the tattoo artist, who nodded her head in agreement as she prepared a dressing to stick over the new body modification.

“It never is,” Neve told her as she applied the gauze bandage over the steel bar, covering the entirety of Autumn’s nipple. “And I couldn’t have asked for a better client, you were great!”

“Thanks!” Autumn said happily before turning to Ryan, smiling broadly at him. “Alright dude, you’re up!”

Ryan froze on the spot, his mouth hanging open in shock. He was up? What the hell, she thought he was doing this too?! “What y’ on a’bart, love?!” He asked, hoping to god that he misunderstood what she meant.

“It’s your turn, duh!” Autumn told him, still beaming at him, full of pride at how brave she’d been, not just getting the piercing done in general but by the fact that she was brave enough to bare her body in front of the stranger too. Autumn’s confidence was low at the best of times and she had regularly questioned her own body and looks over the years, comparing herself to the rest of the roster. Her comparisons never came back favourable. “Dude, we literally talked about this the entire ride here… so get your top off already!”

This has to be some sort of joke. She was fucking with him, surely? He hadn’t agreed to any of this, he hadn’t said he was gonna be participating in the craziness! He just wanted her to get what he wanted, he had no intention to get holes made in his own body!! “Nar wait just a minute, love…” Ryan started, actually backing towards the door through self preservation. “A mean, a never said… we dint talk a’bart…” he mumbled, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this one. Short answer was that he probably wasn’t; he now had Autumn and Neve looking at him expectantly.

“Got the needle all ready if you want to take a seat,” the tattooist said, smiling cheerfully at Ryan, which didn’t help. Could they not see that he didn’t want to do this?! Why on earth did Autumn think he had agreed to get his done too?! He hadn’t. He hadn’t once uttered words similar to ‘sure, i’ll do it too’ in their entire conversation, he had simply supported her in the idea. Her. Singular. Solo. On her lonesome, her own. Just Autumn!

“Am not really sure that-” he started to say, but Autumn, who had put her bra into her purse now but had her shirt pulled down and her jacket back on, walked over and grabbed him by the hand.

“It’s nothing to be worried about dude,” Autumn said, clearly mistaking his lack of interest in joining her in the hole in the nipple club for nerves about the actually piercing process. That was not the case. “Look, I held your hand while having mine done, so you can hold mine alright?” She told him, taking him by the hand and Ryan found himself actually being led towards the chair that Autumn had sat in only moments before, unresisting despite the voice in his head screaming that he should get the hell out of there.

Come on sunshine, any minute nar he said to himself. Just let go’a y’ mrs’ ‘and an’ leg it, not like they can force y’ t’ come back, is it? He reasoned, yet he didn’t resist as Autumn led him to the chair and he actually took a seat, screaming at himself to just stand up. Just stand up and use the door and this entire shitshow ends, simple as that… but instead he was lifting his T-shirt so that Neve could repeat the entire process. He shut down, he simply shut down the minute Autumn took him by the hand, zoned out completely… until the needle punctured his skin...

“AaarghGHgGhghghghhhhhhhhh”

“Am not even gonna piss a’bout this time love,” Ryan said, as Autumn set up the camera. “Not gonna get drawn into some bollocks wi’ Start, ‘cause we both know how petty that cunt can be, don’t we? An’ it’s not like I ain’t got reason to get some shit off me chest either…”

“Just don't go all super serious dude, it’s not you…” Autumn told him as she stepped out from behind the camera, happy that they were ready to roll. “I know sincerity is on a list of things you don’t give a fuck about and that list is pretty extensive at this point, considering the name…”

“Yeah well, what can a seh,” Ryan replied, smirking. “The’s a pretty long list’a things a dunt gi’ a fuck a’bart, there ain’t much a can do a’bart that… but that prick Starr, I owe ‘im one from some time back, dunt a… cunt beat me back when a were in SCW last time…”

“You really hold a grudge about that?” Autumn asked, quite surprised to find he still held a grudge that old but Ryan nodded.

“When it’s Jake Starr we’re talkin’ a’bart, too bloody right a do!” He told his wife, scoffing. “Any other twat; maybe a let it go, but that cockwomble? Fuck that. Knobhead caused enough issues wi’ Infamous over the years when we were part’a it, then he got one over on me last time we faced… ain’t lookin’ t’ let that ‘appen again this time…” he explained and Autumn’s eyebrows went up in surprise but she didn’t push the issue any more and simply stepped behind the camera ready to start recording. Stepping up onto the mark on the floor, he gave the nod and Autumn hit the record button to get the show on the road.

[[START RECORDING]]

“So lemme guess, y’ waitin’ f’ me to start talkin’ shit a’bart Twin Magic or ‘tag titles, ain’t y’? What’s the gobshite’a professional wrestlin’ got t’ seh f’ ‘imself after what ‘appended, after losin’ belts at Apocalypse” Ryan says, before a smirk spreads across his face. “Couldn’t gi’ a fuck, mate…” he adds with a laugh, deep and from the belly. “Nah, ‘onestly, a couldn’t… clues in’t bloody name lad, does exactly as it sez on’t tin, or it should… not my fault some’a you tossers are a bit slow on’t uptake, is it? An’ me an’ are lass, we’ve got us selves a little old rematch anyway, ain’t we? Zero Fuck T’ Gi’ versus Twin Magic at Under Attack, ‘s chance t’ tek back what’s ratefully ours anyroad, so why waste me time nah waxin’ lyrical a’bart them fire chrotches, when a can put me efforts to more use doin’ summet worth while like pickin’ the lint art me belly button or scratchin’ me arse?” he asks, a smug snort set firmly on his face still. Obviously he knows how disrespectful he is being towards Marie and Kim, but what could he actually do, compliment them? Tell them the truth, that they were the better team on the night? Tell the world he was angry as losing the belts? The clue really was in the name: Zero Fucks To Give! “Nah flower, am not gonna stand ‘ere an’ mek excuses as t’ why me an’ Autumn cem up short against the ginners, am gonna concentrate on’t matter at ‘and an’ me match on Breakdarn this week, when a climb in that ring wi’ the master’a monotony ‘imself, the only prick that gis me a run f’ me money in terms’a arrogance… Jake Start!”

Ryan rolls his eyes theatrically before flipping the vee’s to the camera. “Problem is, the dumb cunt is probably gonna tek pride in that, ain’t he? A mean, it comes to summet when someone as vain an’ narcissistic as this wanker is cheered by you thick twats in’t arena, but that’s the situation we ‘ave goin’ on ain’t it? A mean, I ain’t got no love for that turd Bree Lancaster, but the blatant chiffon’ hypocrisy is glarin’ as far as am concerned, when a tit like Start is cheered but someone like Bree it me even, are boo’d. Not that a gi’ a fuck a’bart what you plonkers reckon, mind… but it ain’t a crime to point shit art even if y’ dunt care, is it?” he asks. It’s fair to say, with the exception of one period of time in SCW, that Ryan was never one of the fan favourites and people would be more likely to cheer him getting his arse kicked than to cheer him on during a match, but that didn’t make the point less valid. If anything it only added validation to his point. “Then again, a dunt expect owt else from you tossers anyroad,” he continues. “It’s fittin’ in fact that am facin’ Starr this week ‘cause the point is extra pertinent… you wankers would rather cheer on a knob like Starr as he assaults someone while his mates hold their wife back than y’ ever would be t’ cheer someone like me who at least admits he’s a prick! An’ a know that’s rakin’ over the coals somewhat, draggin’ up ancient history, but fuckin’ hell, d’ y’ realise just how fucked up that situation we’re back then?! Y’ used to boo Infamous for even the slightest transgression, but Captain Arrogance literally beat the piss art’a Ravyn while Dickhead Dave an’ Tommy Valentine held Zoe an’ forced ‘er’ t’ watch it tek place. The fuck’s wrong wi’ you people?!”

Ryan shakes his head in disappointment, but keeps his anger from showing. He may feel angry, but the notion of ‘Zero Fucks’ repeatedly played in his mind and he didn’t want to make it easy for anyone to poke fun. “Nar between you lot an’ me, an not gonna lie an’ say that am not up f’ this match, ‘cause ol’ Captain Arrogance an’ me, we’ve got a bit’a history, ain’t we?” He admits, keep to press on. “Last time I were knockin’ around SCW, I happened to go an’ win me’self the United States championship, dint a? An’ who happened to go’n beat me for it? Jake ‘every fucker look at how big an’ clever I am’ Starr, that’s bloody who! Like it weren’t bad enough that this knobhead were responsible for givin’ us years’a bloody shit back in’t Infamous days, but the little wanker ‘ad t’ be the one who ended me United States championship reign, dint he?! An’ not only that, but SCW deemed his antics worthy’a stickin’ him in’t Hall’a Fame?! Before the likes’a Syren?! Fuck my boots, standards rate gone darn hill theer, ain’t it?!” he says, tempted to spit on the floor before deciding against it. He’d only have to clean it up if he did. “Alrate, fair play, he’s won plenty’a shit in ‘is time in’t company, can’t argue wi’ that… but dumb as you dickheads are, y’ gotta be able t’ see that the dick ‘as bin basically applauded for bein’ a twat, surely? Hall’a Fame for bein’ a cockwomble, that a’bart sums up Jake Starr’s time ‘ere in SCW; he’s been a cockwomble to many an’ varied, pissed off practically every cunt he’s ever come in t’ contact wi’ - includin’ his own mates - an’ then he fucked off fer a while before returnin’ earlier this year, though a guess a can’t say owt a’bart that can a, ‘cause a kinda did the same me’ self so fair do’s wi’ that one… but seriously, how many’a you lot at hom’ actually missed the cunt, anyway?! Pount to a penny, or dollars to donuts if y’ want a relatable idiom, that there ain’t many’a y’ that actually can claim to ‘ave missed the twat an’ not laugh rate after sayin’ it! Johnny Knots used t’ tek great pride in sayin’ SCW were Evans-free once upon a time… well maybe he should’a been harpin’ on a’bart us bein’ Starr-free, ‘cause as far as am concerned, that’s summet to bloody celebrate… wonder if y’ can get innoculated t’ protect y’ from Starr’s bullshit? Starr-itis, reckon that’s a thing? Wunt shock me if it were!”

“Apocalypse were a pretty wank neet f’ both me an’ ‘im, weren’t it?” Ryan reasons, as he runs a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face. “He failed t’ knock Bree from ‘er perch, an’ me an’ Autumn well i already mentioned our fuck up, dint a… so y’ could say we’re both gonna be lookin’ t’ score some points back after a disappointin’ pay per view f’ the pair’a us… though let’s face it, art the two’re us, there’s only me who’s actually done owt to really fail since we both came back, ain’t there? A mean, how many matches were it, eh? Four? Five? Hell, let’s be generous an’ call it six… six matches before a were wearin’ gold around me waste since comin’ back, not too fuckin’ shabby, a think we can agree… now compare that t’ what Starr’s done… he’s beaten some fuckwit in a red jumpsuit an’ failed t’ win the US title. Well then… so uh, a guess we can safely say that Starr’s age is catchin’ up t’ him while am provin’ that neither injury or time away can stop me from becomin’ a success ‘ere in SCW again!” he says smugly, even if it’s fair to say he is greatly exaggerating the situation. But then again, hasn’t Ryan always done that, during both previous tenures as part of the SCW roster? “An’ no offence to Captain Arrogance, but am gonna be ‘onest… there were a time where a might have stopped to consider the idea’a t’old Jakey Boy beatin’ me, but that time’s been an’ gone. That ain’t an indictment on his abilities or owt, but am just at that point in me own career where if a don’t back me self against absolutely any fucker in this business then what’s the point in bein’ ‘ere, eh? Seriously, that’s the fuckin’ problem wi’ this place; there’s way too many wet blankets on this roster wi’ there ‘you may beat me’ bollocks every week. Show some fuckin’ backbone, y’ pricks! Confidence, self-assurance, determination an’ refusual t’ accept owt but the best! Call me arrogant as much as y’ fuckin’ want, but at least a can stand in front’a a camera an’ make these kinda claims, even if it don’t happen in’t end! An’ that’s why you fucks are always gonna look darn y’ noses at me at ‘ome, ain’t it? Y’ve always bin the fuckin’ same, always judged me, called me arrogant or cocky, but what you lot look at as a negative… a see as a positive. Am confident… an’ that’s more’n a can say a’bart most’a the cunts in this company! So a guess it’s comes darn t’ who’s got the most confidence when that bell rings, don’t it… Captain Arrogance ‘imself, Jakey Boy… or me. The Gobshite’a professional wrestlin’... but al let y’ into a secret nar Jake, before a sign off. Thee… y’ might be Captain Arrogance… but guess what sunshine? In comparison? Am not some lowly captain… am the fuckin’ general! Sithee art theer, dickhead,” he finishes before walking out of shot and Autumn hits the stop button to end the video.

[[STOP RECORDING]]

“Well, that weren’t too bad,” Ryan said as he removed his hooded top and tossed it onto the chair in the corner. “A lot of it were a load’a bollocks, but if a can’t take that an’ spin it, then a don’t deserve to call me self a gobshite, do a?”

“You were born in the wrong era dude,” Autumn told him, grinning. “You should have been born in the eighteen hundreds, because you’d have made a killing selling snake oil, I swear to god…”

“Snake oil…” Ryan said, thoughtfully. “Tha knows, love… a might be able to work wi’ that… am sensin’ merchandise…” he said, excitement overtaking him and he pulled out his phone before making for the stairs to exit the basement, leaving so suddenly that Autumn actually faltered for a moment as she watched him leave.

“No, wait! Ry! Ry, it was a joke!” she shouted after him, turning to quickly switch off the camera before rushing after him, wishing she had kept her mouth shut. Lord only knows what sort of crazy scheme he suddenly had in mind and what she was gonna need to do to put a stop to it...