STARRING:
[Taking Hold Of The Future: Chapter 02]
.:| “He Who Dares...Panics?” |:.
So am not gonna lie, a forgot ‘ow difficult keepin’ secrets from people really were, especially when ya spend so much bloody time wi’ ‘em in pretty close proximity, tha knows? A mean, you philanderin’ shitbags who can’t keep it in their pants know what it’s like to act normal around someone when ya keepin’ summet from em, don’t ya? But fo’ those of us who don’t regularly cheat on our significant others an’ therefore built up a pretty strong tolerance to lyin’ to people’s faces, lemme tell ya that it’s fuckin’ difficult actin’ normal around someone when ya keepin’ somethin’ from ‘em, an’ it only gets harder when ya don’t just live wi’ that person, but ‘ave to work wi’ ‘em too! Seriously, if we’re talkin’ a’bart summet bein’ a pain in’t arse, ad tek a guess that anal wi’art the use’a KY ain’t as big a pain as tryin’ to pretend all is fine an’ dandy to someone that ya keepin’ secrets from, an’ this one weren’t even summet that were bad!
A should’a just ‘accidentally’ left that SD card at Kandis’ place when a left ‘ers that night, once we’d finished her little video interrogation… no, in fact a should’a took it, but dropped it straight darn the drain art on’t street as soon as a were out’a sight an’ claim to ‘ave lost the fuckin’ thing when she asked a’bart it, ‘cause from the minute a left her apartment in West Hollywood an’ made me way back to Anaheim all a could think about were the stupid video that were on that fuckin’ thing! A mean, you’d think it were easy just to get rid of somethin’ as small as a camera’s SD card, right? A could’a lost it anywhere, just let it fall to the ground an’ keep goin’ as if nowt were wrong an’ just forget about the whole fuckin’ experience, but no… no, instead a did what every dumb cunt does an’ continued to dwell on it instead! Fuck sake Ryan, get a grip or what?!
Breakdown came an’ went; we flew to Indianapolis an’ back ‘ome again – shithole of a town, wouldn’t recommend – an’ a din’t say a dicky bird a’bart what were on me mind; the daft thing were that a weren’t even sure a wanted to bring it up, even after a few home truths landed in me lap back in Kandis’ place when a were goin’ through her twenty questions routine. A mean, alrate, a guess a have to admit that a came away at least wi’ a sense’a understandin’ a guess ya can call it, or a dunno, realisin’ a few home truth’s fer want of a better expression… but am not gonna say that were a fuckin’ good thing! The truth can ‘urt, ain’t that just the bloody truth; everythin’ were way more simple before Kandis took it upon’er self to play Cilla fuckin’ Black… which is a reference no one but people from Britain are gonna get, which is just another frustration. Were Blind Date a show over ‘ere an’ all, or were that just a British thing? Fucked if are know, but go luck it up if it weren’t, am not doin’ all the work ‘ere. What were a sayin’? Oh aye, that’s it! As a were sayin’, the truth don’t always make for a good thing! See, while a were blissfully unaware’a what the fuck were apparently goin’ on in me ‘ead, a were doin’ just fine; things livin’ wi’ Autumn weren’t awkward what so ever, in fact it were pretty chilled out an’ we actually ‘ad a good laugh most’a the time. Then suddenly this whoppin’ great big spanner get’s chucked into the works an’ am all of a fuckin’ dither! An’ this were only after a few days an’ all, so god knows what it were gonna be like as time moved on…
…that were what basically made me mind up for me a think. After only a few days, a knew that a wouldn’t be able to keep this up for a long period’a time; bitin’ the bullet were pretty much the only option, ‘cause ad rather be booted art the house an’ at least be able to fuckin’ think straight than not rock the boat an’ spend the rest’a this fake marriage walkin’ on eggshells!
Waldorf Astoria Hotel
Chicago, Ilinois
March 9th, 2019
The night before Retribution
The SCW circus moved from Indianapolis to Chicago – not much better on the shit towns I’ve visited scale, but deep dish pizza made it worth while – an’ as this were for a pay per view, it were an all employees kinda deal, regardless’a whether ya were booked or not. Autumn weren’t, shock horror an’ all that, but we still had to be theer just in case, a guess? Dark matches an’ all that shite, appearances, promotion, the usual tripe that comes as part’a bein’ employed by the biggest wrestlin’ company in’t world. Given the whole pretend marriage thing, an’ given Gibble’s ain’t been on’t road for several months nah, the whole one room thing weren’t quite as big a ball ache as it used t’be, we were good wi’ sharin’ a room these days, though where possible a were still sleepin’ on’t couch unless the bed were huge. The beds were huge at the Waldorf, but a weren’t sure a were even gonna be in the same room by it were time to go to sleep. Autumn were sat on’t bed on ‘er laptop, god knows what she were doin’, a weren’t really payin’ much attention to be honest, given everythin’ that were on me mind… a weren’t used to this, this uncertainty an’ lack’a confidence an’ stuff. Usually, a were the kinda bloke who were just confident wi’ everythin’ he had in front’a him, but not this.
An' it were fuckin’ awful.
Part’a me wanted to go for a who wants to be a millionaire type solution an’ phone a friend, but apart from Kandis – who’d made it more’n obvious what she thought a should do – who the fuck were a gonna phone a’bart this’n anyway? As far as everyone else were concerned, me an’ Autumn were alreadymarried, they thought we’d actuallygot back together, so there weren’t anyone else a couldtalk to in order to try an’ figure this stuff out. The only person other than Kandis that a could talk to were Gable, an’… yeah, that weren’t gonna fuckin’ ‘appen, were it? Can yer even fuckin’ imagine?!
“Ere Gibbles, a know am not ya fav’rite person anymore an’ all that, but a need a bit’a advice, me old kicks…”
Fuck, if that weren’t an invitation to an attempted slap, then a dunno what would be. An’ given a were already walkin’ ‘round wi’ an ‘ead that felt like ad taken several slaps, a weren’t in any rush for a real’n. But that left me wi’ art any real options to pick from all in all; the one person a could talk to ‘ad already med it more’n clear what she though, an’ it we’re also pretty obvious t’me that a weren’t gonna be able to just bury stuff, so really, there were only one option for what a were gonna need to do… a were gonna ‘ave to spill me guts an’ just find out where the chips land.
Wi’ a heavy sigh, a pushed up from me spot on’t couch in our suite - Autumn weren’t one to splash the cash despite the fact she were worth a fuckin’ fortune after gettin’ ‘er inheritance but she did spring for decent ‘otels so comfort were never a concern - an’ pulled me wallet art’a me pocket to fish the SD card art’a it. A held it in’t palm’a me ‘and for a moment; it were so unapologetically plain, so innocuous an’ unassumin’... ya’d never know it could just bring everythin’ crumblin’ darn around me in an hours time…
...but thinkin’ a’bart it weren’t gonna do me any good anymore were it? Suck it up buttercup, that’s what a told me self as a closed me fist around the plastic an’ walked over to the bed.
Watson: “Am, err… am gonna go an’ grab a drink darn in’t bar a think, love…”
Autumn looked up from her computer after pausin’ whatever video she were watchin’ on reddit an’ smiled. Fuck, that smile…
Autumn: “Sounds good dude. Lemme just throw on some pants and I’ll be ready to—”
Watson: “No, love!”
A must’a been a bit to enthusiastic wi’ the emphasis or summet, ‘cause she actually flinched in surprise a bit before frownin’.
Watson: “Sorry, dint mean t’shout, a just… a need ya to do summet for me that’s all, love.”
The frown turned to a look’a intrigue as a proffered up the memory card an’ motioned for ‘er to take it. She did, lookin’ at it quizzic’ly for a second before lookin’ back up at me.
Watson: “There’s summet on theer a want ya to watch love, a video. Filmed it earlier this week an’ a were undecided a’bart whether a wanted to show it yer or not, but a figured sod it, crack on an’ if it all goes tits up, at least a tried, ya know?”
Autumn: “I know? Dude, I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about right now. All I know is that I can’t come get a drink because you’d rather I stay here on my own and watch some video!”
Watson: “It ain’t like that, love… just, a need ya to watch that video, an’ hopefully it’ll all mek sense once yer ‘ave. Ya may not want to ‘ave a drink wi’ me once ya’ve watched it, to be honest wi’ yer… but al let you decide that for ya sen…”
‘Er face were growin’ more confused by the second as a talked, an’ a were sure how a were gonna dig me way art’a it even if a wanted to, so a figured it were easier to just keep goin’ an’ just get art’a theer an’ let ‘er watch.
Autumn: “Alright, why the fuck would I not want to go for a drink with you?!”
Watson: “Just watch the video love, that’s all a can say. It’s kinda long, so it’ll tek a bit to watch… when ya done, text me an’ al come back up an’ we can talk. if I ain’t ‘eard from yer in a’bart an hour an’ ‘alf though, al know that am not welcome back an’ I’ll figure something out…”
‘Er eyes popped a little in surprise at that; an’ she opened ‘er gob to protest or maybe demand a tell ‘er what the fuck were goin’ on but a just shook me ‘ead an’ then nodded at the SD card…
Watson: “Just watch that, eh love? It’ll clear everythin’ up…”
Ha. That were a fuckin’ joke. It wouldn’t clear owt up, all it’d do is make everythin’ even more fuckin’ complicated than it already were! But that were the price fer honesty a guess… an’ wi’ that, a turned an’ walked for the door wi’art any more explanation. A could feel ‘er eyes borin’ into me as a walked, but as a reached the door, a could ‘ear the unmistakeable sound’a plastic scratchin’ that came from tryin’ to slide a memory card into a card reader slot. The door clicked behind me before a got to ‘ear the sound’a the video start playin’... a may be an idiot, but am not a glutton for punishment an’ a weren’t in any rush to stick around to watch her reactions. Am not a one man version’a Rotten Tomatoes! There were plenty’a time for that once she’d watched the whole thing, anyway… an’ a weren’t exactly lookin’ forward to it either!
The bar downstairs looked like summet outa Cheers, lots’a polished brass an’ dark wood and plenty’a stools at the counter wi’ booths around the edge’a the room. It weren’t all that busy, a couple’a families sat in booths and a few sat at the counter flyin’ solo. Me an’ the bar flys, sounds like a Dog’s D’Amour song, don’t it? Can just ‘ear Tula beltin’ it art… but it were true, it were me an’ the bar flys, people who regularly congregated at whatever bar of whichever hotel they were stayin’ at. Business men in suits, sippin’ on brandy or cognac… is that the same thing? Fuck it, not important. A felt like a bit’a a scrub when a told the bartender a just wanted a beer, but he gave me a smile an’ a nod an’ went to pour me a pint all the same. Guess my money were as good as anyone else’s, even if it were charged to the room instead’a me credit card. “Cheers Autumn”, a said under me breath, as a raised the glass slightly before downin’ half’a it in one gulp. Or a series’a gulps a guess? One chug, a suppose would be more appropriate. A were just glad they ‘ad European stuff on tap, ‘cause ad rather drink a good Belgian lager than watery American shite any day’a the week, believe me.
The drink went darn way too well an’ ad finished it before a were even aware it were gone but the barman were quick to attend to his parched patron wi’ a fresh drink an’ after a quick scan’a me room key a were free to continue enjoyin’... a took time to actually sip this’n though; a weren’t drinkin’ to get battered, a were drinkin’ as summet to do while playin’ the waitin’ game, that’s all. Last thing a needed were to turn back up at the room totally pyjama’d an’ reekin’a beer, weren’t it? That’s if a were allowed back to the room anyroad… a mean, there were no guarantee that she were gonna be responsive, short’a tellin’ me to go fuck me self or summet… good job Ry, great work sunshine! Or should a be blamin’ Kandis? A mean, alrate, it were me that used the wrong name durin’ sex, which ain’t good no matter how ya look at it an’ stuff… but did she ‘ave ter pull ‘er little interrogation? Did she fuck! So a were only gonna tek fifty percent’a the blame at most!
Drink number two didn’t go down quite as quickly as the first’n did, a tried to tek it steady instead, an’ the two families that were sat in separate booths an’ one’a the other solo flyers got up an’ left before ad finished it, but a knew it’d still take Autumn a fair amount’a time to finish watchin’ the video so I ordered a third’n an’ followed it wi’ a whiskey chaser. For someone not lookin’ to get drunk, a were doin’ a crackin’ job’a makin’ it look otherwise, weren’t a?
A dropped the chaser in one but nurses the next beer for more’n thirty minutes, watchin seconds tick off the clock an’ one by one people filter out’a the bar until it were just me an’ Ted Danson the barman left. He weren’t anywhere near old enough to be Danson in reality, in fact he were younger‘n me an’ had a trendy hipster haircut an’ beard combo which kinda annoys me, but given the fact a’ve got what people keep callin’ ‘soccer mom’ hair, who the fuck am I to judge any cunt, eh? Hipster Ted were on’t ball though, walkin’ over to fill the glass again as soon as ad finished. A were around forty five to fifty minutes into the waitin’ game at this point an’ a told me sen ad make number four me last when he slid it over to me an’ took me room key to swipe it. He returned the key twen’y seconds later an’ leaned against the bar across from me.
Hipster Ted: “Drinking alone tonight, sir?”
Teld ya, it were Ted Danson from Cheers as played by a bloody hipster! Took a few seconds to realise he were talkin’ to me at first but then a nodded me head.
Hipster Ted: “You’d be surprised just how many do, these days. It used to be something of a social faux pas, but now it’s pretty much accepted. Funny that, huh?”
Watson: “Think we’ve got a different view’a what is an’ isn’t funny, mate. An’ shouldn’t ya be polishin’ a glass wi’ a cloth or summet if ya gonna play the chatty barman role? Bit of a cliche ain’t it?”
He smirked at that.
Hipster Ted: “Those days are long gone I’m afraid. No more bartender cleaning glasses with a rag, pot washers eliminated that years ago. And to be honest sir, I’ve got a smoke break coming up in around ten minutes and I’m just trying to pass the time. If you’d rather I left--”
An’ now am bein’ an arsehole to random ‘otel employees. Way to fuckin’ go Ry, good fuckin’ job. What a twat.
Watson: “Sorry mate, sorry… just been one’a them days, that’s all…”
Hipster Ted: “Nothing to apologise for sir, all part of the job.”
Watson: “An’ do me a favour will ya mate, drop the sir bollocks. Mate, bud, dude, bro, can call me Ryan if ya want, just drop the formal stuff, yeah?”
He nodded his head, an’ then it were like he underwent a transformation almost, his whole body relaxed, as he dropped the customer services attitude an’ reverted to ‘imself, a guess? Either way, it were a bit odd to watch but he seemed more relaxed after that.
Hipster Ted: “So no wife tonight?”
A must ‘ave looked a little taken back by that, ‘cause he cracked a smirk.
Hipster Ted: “Used to go to shows back in the day, back when Infamous was still doing it’s thing. Have to pretend not to know who celebs are when they’re in here, company policy. “Every customer is a VIP” kind of bullshit, you know how it is.”
That made more sense… also meant a had to watch what a said to him though, if he knew who I were, an’ more importantly, knew who Autumn were…
Watson: “Makes sense. Must be shit when ya get real celebs in ‘ere though, especially if ya really wanna talk to ‘em about their career an stuff…”
Hipster Ted: “It’s a pain at times bro, sure. A place like this, the cost per night, we get our fair share. Most of ‘em tend to just drink in their rooms though to avoid the attention. Had Keanu Reeves in here last week, that one would have sucked if he didn’t sense my desperation for a picture from twenty yards…”
Watson: “Yeah well, it’s Keanu ain’t it. Guy’s just a good bloke, from what a’ve read…”
A turned me attention back to me pint an’ took another drink, an’ Hipster Ted Danson took a look at his watch, which a caught out’a the corner’a me eye.
Hipster Ted: “Alright, so I’ve got a few minutes… what’s on your mind?”
Watson: “Who said there’s owt on it?”
Hipster Ted: “Well, you’re sat in the bar on your own, you chugged that first drink down like you’d not had a drink in a week, the second went quicker and then you escalated to a chaser with number three, the wife isn’t with you but I know you both checked in together because I was the one who took your luggage upstairs for you and… well, to be honest, that stuff was just extra, mostly I just know the look on your face. See it regularly, working in here.”
Alright mister clever bollocks, no need to show off…
Watson: “We’ve got a smart arse, a see… a thought we weren’t doin’ the bartender an’ his rag cliché?”
He didn’t say owt at that, just grinned. A sighed, an’ took a drink, tryin’ to just think fast. A mean, okay, maybe a could’a just told him to mind his own fuckin’ business an’ leave it at that, but it’s not like a had to actually tell him owt true anyway, were it? Nothin’ wrong wi’ bein’ social…
Watson: “Just waitin’ on some news, that’s all.”
Hipster Ted: “Bad news?”
Watson: “Could go either way. Got a deal in the pipeline that could have some big implications for me goin’ forward that’s all, could be huge but could be a disaster…”
Hipster Ted: “You going back to SCW?”
What? Where the fuck did that come from?! A mean, it weren’t even close to the truth, which were great ‘cause ad be seriously fuckin’ impressed but also kinda up shit creak if he had guessed the real thing…
Watson: “Where’d that come from?”
Hipster Ted: “Well, I mean it’s March, right? And that means we’re not that far away from that battle royal where everyone seems to wanna return in secret and stuff. Figured it may be something to do with that…”
Watson: “Nah mate, nothin’ to do wi’ Takin’ Hold’a the Flame. Just some business opportunities that’s all… could mean some big opportunities for me in’t near future if it comes off, but it could also be a bit of a disaster, so a weren’t sure if it were worth goin’ for it…”
He grabbed a glass from underneath the counter as a talked an’ poured himself a glass of soda from the pump, am guessin’ part of his job meant he could wheeze free soft drifts or whatever, an’ then took a sip before lookin’ at me.
Hipster Ted: “Well, If you don’t ask, you never know, right? And if the reward is worth the risk then you may as well go for it, that’s how I’ve always looked at things anyway…”
Watson: “Yeah, that’s kinda what a went wi’ in’t end. But the waitin’ part is shite, ya know?”
Hipster Ted: “How long until you find out?”
Watson: “Oh, a’bart…”
A looked at me watch an’ did some quick mental math…
Watson: “Fifteen minutes or so, a reckon… give or tek a few…”
Hipster Ted: “Oh. Well, at least you’ll know either way, right?”
Watson: “Yeah, a guess a will.”
He nodded, an’ a held me drink up to him, which he clinked his own glass against before takin’ another sip of his Pepsi.
Hipster Ted: “So listen, I’m off on a break in a minute, you want another drink before the relief guy turns up?”
A just shook me head. A still had more’n half me pint left in me glass an’ a really were nursin’ this’n instead of chuggin’ it darn. Pullin’ me wallet art, a grabbed a twenty an’ slid it across the bar to ‘im before puttin’ it back in the back pocket’a me jeans. He looked at it an’ seemed happy, pickin’ it up an’ puttin’ it into a little jar behind the bar by the till. Turnin’ he looked up an’ nodded at someone an’ a turned to look over me shoulder to see another member’a staff walkin’ towards the bar. Evidently this were the relief guy he were waitin’ on.
Hipster Ted: “Alright, that’s me dude. So good luck with whatever you’ve got going on, alright?”
Watson: “Have a good’n mate. An’ cheers.”
Givin’ me a single nod of acknowledgement, he waited for the new server to make ‘er way behind the bar before exitin’ ‘imself an’ a popped off a casual salute as he walked past me. The bird now workin’ behind the bar dint seem interested in chattin’ an’ a were thankful f’that, ‘cause a dint wanna go over the same routine twice if a could help it. Finishin’ me beer, a slid the glass away an’ stood up, only slightly swayin’ as a turned to head back into the foyer. Checkin’ me watch, Autumn really should ‘ave ad enough time to finish watchin’ by this point, but the volume were turned on on me phone for once an’ ad definitely not been told a could or couldn’t go back up to the room. It weren’t lookin’ good… this were exactly why a dint wanna spill the beans in’t first place, even if a knew it were the right thing to do for the sake’a me own sanity in the long run. Doesn’t mean a were ‘appy wi’ what the result evidently were gonna be though, an’ me feet felt particularly ‘eavy as a wandered over to the little area with sofa’s for guests to chill on by the lifts to the upper floors, decidin’ it were better for me to wait there than continue to sit in the bar an’ risk endin’ up completely hammered. Booze weren’t gonna make the situation any easier an’ a thought about maybe orderin’ a coffee to counter the beer ad already tossed back but if a weren’t gonna be goin’ back up theer anyway, would it even matter?
A were full’a nervous energy as a sat there, me phone perched on the arm’a the sofa primed an’ ready for if a got a text, an’ despite knowin’ ad not got one, a kept pressin’ the home button every thirty seconds, checkin’ on the time. Minutes started to fall off the clock, an’ it were quickly becomin’ obvious that it weren’t gonna be anythin’ positive that came out’a all this. Eventually, gettin’ to a good twenty minutes after a knew the video would’a finished, a think a gave up hope or admitted defeat a guess, ‘cause a decided it were done, that she were furious or whatever an’ that a weren’t gonna be welcome back in the suite Autumn’d booked for us. It were wi’ an heavy heart that a shoved up from that sofa an’ went to join the queue at reception; evidently a were gonna need a different room, ‘cause ad blown everythin’, ad fucked it all up. A started to plan shit out in me head, ‘ow ad go back to San Dimas an’ live in the house me an’ are Tom’d bought, wait until the divorce papers undoubtedly turned up, an’ then ad ‘ave to figure out how to start me life up back in England again. That were a real kick to the bollocks. The two people in front’a me checkin’ in went down to one person as a thought all this over, wonderin’ how many people from me old life would still be around, whether a could find work as a trainer or summet, maybe even find work as a booker or somethin’ else in the business. There were plenty’a companies back ‘ome these days, not like when a were workin’ the indy’s. That’d work, right? Maybe?
Receptionist: “Can I help you sir? Hello, sir?”
A were so lost in’ the process of me own thoughts that ad not noticed that the person in front’a me in’t queue had already finished an’ walked away, an’ the receptionist were tryin’ to get me attention ‘cause a were next. Snappin’ out’a it, a took a step closer to the desk an’ put me phone down so a could grab me wallet while startin’ to talk.
Watson: “Yeah, am gonna need a--”
A stoped talkin’ instantly, the sound’a me phone’s text message tone were like a whip crack in a library, a gunshot in a church! Grabbin’ me phone, a looked at the preview on the screen an’ it were Autumn. “Get back here” were all it said, no kisses on’t end or owt, no indication’a whether it were good news or bad… but it were a reply! An’ it were more’n a were expectin’ at this point!
Watson: “Ya know what love, it don’t matter. A… a just needed a replacement room key card ‘cause a left mine in me room an’ me wife weren’t answerin’ but she’s just text me to say she’s awake nah so no harm no foul. Cheers.”
A span a lie as quick as a could an’ turned to break for the lift’s on the side wall. There were no one waitin’ which meant they were all in use, an’ a hammered at the button, willin’ em to come back darn to ground floor. If ever there were gonna be a meme more relevant in me life at that point, it were the One Eternity Later meme from Spongebob, ‘cause that’s how long it felt like a were waintin’ for that fuckin’ lift an’ by the time it came, a were practically dancin’ from foot to foot in impatience. A bolted down the hallway when it stopped on my floor an’ a fumbled the keycard as a pulled it outa me pocket but then stopped, tryin’ to compose me self at the door. Deep breath kiddo, don’t act like a twat… like that were ever gonna ‘appen…
Walkin’ into the room, a found Autumn sat on the bed, her laptop still open an’ her face were literally shinin’ wi’ tears, mascara runnin’ down ‘er cheeks an’ a weren’t sure if that were a good sign or a bad’n… a mean, on’t one hand she could a’ve been triggered to fuck by it, upset by the memories it dragged up an’ distraught that a were readin’ way too much into anythin’ an’ everythin’, but… a mean, there were always that what if thought, weren’t there? What if she were cryin’ because it made her feel somethin’ ‘appy, or that she were overjoyed at the fact a were admittin’ what a were, or… or the first one were rate after all, if the speed in which Autumn jumped off the bed an’ started poundin’ ‘er fists in me chest were anythin’ to go by.
Autumn: “YOU’RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE, YOU KNOW THAT?!”
At first, a were in shock, an’ dint defend me self ‘cause it took a second’a two to click that she were actually hittin’ me… but as it dawned, a realised a deserved it, every blow. All’a it were justified.
Autumn: “SEVEN YEARS! SEVEN… FUCKING… YEARS! YOU… BROKE… MY FUCKING HEART!”
That were a fittin’ sentiment, given how this were makin’ me feel, a could feel me own heart breakin’ at ‘ow upset she were. She were in that stage’a ugly cryin’ an’ all, all floods’a tears an’ snot an’ basically losin’ all control’a the muscles in ‘er face more or less. Really wailin’, actually probably more’n a’ve ever seen ‘er before, even when a broke up wi’ er back in… well, like she said, seven years ago a guess?
Autumn: “I WAS HAPPY… I WAS… SO… HAPPY… AND YOU… YOU DO… YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! A FUCKING ASSHOLE!”
She were still poundin’ on me chest wi’ ‘er fists wi’ all the strength she could muster, but it were gettin’ weaker an’ weaker as she struggled to keep the fury up, an’ before a knew it she collapsed against me chest, just sobbin’ her bloody eyes art an’ while she dint cling to me too – holdin’ herself rather’n holdin’ me – she weren’t lashin’ out anymore, an’ a held her tightly for what felt like an age, though in reality it weren’t more’n a couple minutes at most. It were when the big sobs an’ loud cryin’ calmed darn that she shoved me off her an’ walked back towards the bed, not lookin’ at me for several seconds as she wiped at her eyes before roundin’ on me.
Autumn: “Why? Why tell me Ryan, after all this time? You know I’m happy, know I’m happy with Gable… why did you have to just unburden yourself on me like this, what the fuck were you thinking?!”
A dint even know how to answer that… not at first anyway. A knew a needed to be careful wi’ whatever a said, ‘cause it were the difference between this at least goin’ in a manageable direction an’ it goin’ off the rails super quick.
Watson: “A know yer angry, love… but--”
Autumn: “Angry? Dude, you have no idea right now! We broke up seven years ago, Ry, you don’t just drop this on someone after all that time and not expect them to be angry!”
Watson: “A never said a dint expect ya to be angry love! Fuck, if a dint expect a reaction like this, what kinda ‘uman bein’ would a be?!”
Autumn: “I don’t know what kind of person you are dude, I stopped knowing that when you broke up with me on Christmas day!”
That were a low blow… warranted, admittedly, but low all the same…
Watson: “An’ ya just watched me talk all a’bart that, love! If ya watched the whole video, then--”
Autumn: “I did watch it all, yeah. I wanted to turn it off at various points, but I did watch it… that doesn’t change the fact that you did what you fucking did!”
Watson: “An’ you’ve never made a mistake?!”
A knew she couldn’t make that claim, not wi’ how much she’d hid from me in’t start’a our relationship, an’ she knew that too, which were why she dint try an’ argue the point a guess… but it weren’t like she needed to grasp at any low hangin’ fruit either, given the large number’a arguments other than that which she could pluck out’a the air in order to prove am a bellend’a the highest order…
Autumn: “And that justifies you for dropping this on me knowing full well that I’m with Gable?!”
Watson: “Of course it doesn’t. None’a this is justifiable, other than a knew that a needed to admit it regardless’a what the consequences were afterward… d’ya think am not fully aware’a what this is probably gonna mean for us, eh? Am not dumb, love.”
Autumn: “Oh, I’d say that’s debatable dude, given what you’ve just dropped on me! I’m in a fucking relationship Ryan, I’m dating Gable!”
Watson: “Aye, an’ he’s just fuckin’ brilliant wi’ yer ain’t he?!”
A weren’t plannin’ on sayin’ that. A weren’t intendin’ to say that. Why the fuck did a say that? Fuck sake. An’ mate, ya should’ve seen the size’a Autumn’s eyes when a did, a thought they were gonna burst outa her noggin’, Total Recall style…
Autumn: “And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”
Watson: “Oh come on love, ya know exactly what am talkin’ a’bart! Where’s he been, eh? Where the fuck ‘as he been for the last god knows how many weeks?! When were he last around our place, eh? Or your place, whatever. Where the fuck’s he been hidin’ for a couple months nar?!”
Autumn: “Oh, and I wonder why the fuck he doesn’t come around to my house, let me think… couldn’t be anything to do with you, could it?!”
Watson: “Oh gimme a break love, that argument’s fuckin’ exhaustin… yeah, he’s not been the biggest fan’a the fact that ya went way above an’ beyond what a friend would do when ya married me, but fuckin’ ‘ell, this pissy?! He knew how much we mean to one another, he knew how close we still were!”
Autumn: “And maybe that’s part of the reason why he’s been so fucking unhappy about all this!”
Watson: “What, because he thought marriage were just some elaborate plan for me to get in ya knickers?!”
A had to stop me self from laughin’ at that, even if it weren’t gonna be owt more’n a scoff. That really were fuckin’ funny; the idea’a that were just hilarious, that all’a this were just a ruse in order to bump ugglies wi’ a bird I broke up wi’ seven years earlier… ludicrous…
Watson: “He weren’t happy, a get it. But to throw such a big wobbler a’bart it? He’s been a fuckin’ dick, an’ am not gonna apologise for sayin’ that love, cause he has! I ain’t seen him in weeks, he avoids comin’ to his own girlfriends house ‘cause he can’t accept she did summet for a friend, an’ wi how much we’re on’t road, al be fuckin’ amazed if ya’ve seen ‘im yaself more than two or three times in’t last six weeks an’ all!”
Autumn: “I see him enough!”
Even I knew that were a fuckin’ weak argument that she’d thrown back at me, so she musta known how flimsy it were. If everythin’ were all hunky dory in Autumn an’ Gibbles land, she’d ‘ave been able to say more’n just that back to what I’d just thrown at ‘er, an’ we both knew it!
Autumn: “And lets face it, he was fucking right anyway, wasn’t he? He didn’t want me to marry you because he was worried about something like this happening and now look at you!”
Watson: “When did he last text you, eh? When did he last call ya?! You ‘eard from him tonight? Earlier today? Yer the other side’a the country, ‘as he bothered to get in touch?!”
Autumn: “He…”
Watson: “As a thought! You an’ him ain’t ‘appy, ya just not broken up yet ‘cause he don’t wanna come across as uber fuckin’ petty, or more’n he already does, an’ you’re too afraid to do it ‘cause ya don’t wanna be a bad person!”
That ‘it home ‘ard, a could see it in ‘er face; we may’ve ‘ad a bumpy ride over the years, but no one could say a dint know Elizabeth Autumn Ferreira, whether anyone else knew ‘er or not! Plenty’a people may claim to know Elizabeth Autumn Valentine or Autumn Valentine, even Autumn Watson, but no cunt knew her life I did an’ a knew that my point hit the mark!
Watson: “Am sorry love, a don’t wanna say any’a this stuff to hurt ya, but someone’s gotta point art the obvious… as for the video, what more can a say? A mean, it were all in theer, weren’t it? D’ya wanna hear how much a regret breakin’ up wi’ ya seven years ago? Fine. A do. More’n owt a’ve ever done in me life. An’ then some! Ya never did a thing wrong an’ a were a cunt, all ‘cause me pride got hurt an’ a don’t deserve forgiveness even if ya gave it me… but the minute a realised how a felt love, a knew that a couldn’t keep it a secret an’ if it means am goin’ back to England then so be it, ‘cause ad rather have to pack me bags an’ fuck off than live lyin’ to you an’ me sen for more than a’ve had to this last week!”
She were gettin’ teary again an’ a were ‘alf expectin’ her to lunge at me a second time an’ start tryin’ to kick me arse again… but she slumped darn onto the bed instead an’ sat there silently cryin’ while starin’ at me. That were almost worse, somehow…
Watson: “Me an’ thee love, we were such an odd fuckin’ mix, an’ yet we worked. Better’n we ‘ad any right to, if yer ask me. An’ then a fucked it all up an’ al never be able to tell yer ‘ow sorry I am a’bart all’a it, no matter how long a live… an’ a know exactly what am’ askin’ ‘ere an’ how difficult this’s gonna be for thee, which is why am prepared to just go if that’s what ya want. But the idea’a never tellin’ ya ‘ow a feel? That sounded like torture an’ far worse’n anythin’ ya could say in reaction or anythin’ that may ‘appen as a result’a me spillin’ the beans, an’ while am sorry am doin’ it, a don’t regret a fuckin’ thing…”
Autumn: “You should! You should regret this, all of it! I hate you… honest to fucking god Ryan, I hate you right now for doing this to me…”
That were like a gunshot, a gunshot straight to the gut. If that dint tell me everythin’ a needed to know then a dunno what ever would be able to. Fuck.
Autumn: “It took me years to get over you dude, I messed up so many good things with guys because I was comparing them to you! Dom was a great fucking guy, such a good person, so kind and caring… and I threw that away just because he wasn’t you! And I finally got over all of that, finally found it in me to forgive you because I’d moved on, found a good thing with Gable and actually managed to make it work… then you asked me to save your ass and help you stay in the country and I did it, because after everything we’re great friends. And now you’re dropping this on me and I’m a mess and did I say I fucking hate you?!”
A guess a weren’t left wi’ any other choice but to accept it at that point, like, there weren’t owt else she could say wa’ there?
Watson: “Then a guess we know where we stand, love. An’ while a know am on ya shit list nar, more’n likely, a still need to thank ya for everythin’ ya’ve done to ‘elp keep me in’t country. Most people would’a told me to fuck right off an’ watch me get deported, but you went above an’ beyond an’ if a dint mess it up, it’d a’ve worked perfectly. It probably don’t mean much at this point, but a really do appreciate everythin’ love, believe me…”
A were gettin’ a bit choked up, but there were already one’a us cryin’ an’ me blubberin’ weren’t gonna help matters were it, so a sucked it up an’ kept me self held together, figurin’ a could drink the pain away once a were safely ensconced in a room’a me own somewhere else in’t hotel.
Watson: “Am gonna go. Al go darn to reception an’ see a’bart gettin’ a room for the neet an’ then tomorrow al ‘ead back to Cali to pack up me stuff. Al tell the board am not well enough to go to the show an’ hopefully be moved out before ya get back. Am genuinely sorry love, a dint want it to come to this. It’s fittin’ though, a guess… you tellin’ me to fuck off, just like a did to you all them-… am just gonna go…”
A knew a weren’t gonna do me self any favours if a stuck around, so a just turned an’ went to leave; me head were swimmin’, everythin’ ad been worryin’ a’bart, everythin’ a worried were gonna come true, it were. Ad fucked up me strongest friendship, ad fucked up me lifeline in’t country, ad fucked everythin’ up an’ a were losin’ everythin’. That weren’t an exaggeration, a were literally gonna lose everythin’ bar the air a get to breathe an’ a were gonna ‘ave to start all over again in’ a country that were practic’ly alien to me after so long livin’ in’t States.
Autumn: “If you leave now, you have no idea how stupid you are, dude…”
So ya could say that a weren’t exactly up to speed in the old cognitive processes department at this point, but that were a definite what the fuck moment an’ were enough to stop me in me tracks before ad even taken more’n two steps towards the door. A lingered for a second, lookin’ at the doorway but not really seein’ it before a turned back around to look at Autumn, who were still sat on’t edge’a the bed lookin’ at me; tears were still rollin’ darn her face but it weren’t angry lookin’ anymore. Don’t get me wrong, am not sayin’ it were cheasy grins an’ sunshine, but it were definitely a different picture from even a couple’a minutes earlier. She were smilin’… sorta… an’ a turned me head slightly, questionin’ if she really meant what a thought she did. She let out the tiniest’a laughs an’ wi’ that one small action a knew that she really did mean what a thought she did. An’ then suddenly a weren’t standin’ near the door anymore, a were a yard away from’t bed, then a were on me knees in front’a her an’ I had an ‘and on her face as a planted a kiss on her lips.
Ya know ‘ow people talk a’bart summet bein’ electric, like ya can feel the electricity in a room or between people or whatever? Used to think that were a load’a bollocks but in that moment, a were fuckin’ sold. It weren’t a worldwind’a tongues, it weren’t end’a the rom com boy an’ girl makin’ out after eighty five minutes’a sexual tension an’ bullshit dialogue… it weren’t even as theatric as the kiss at our weddin’ ceremony… but it were real. It were more real than a dick like me can put into words, an’ knowin’ it were bein’ reciprowhatsit, reciprocated… it took me fuckin’ breath away, am not afraid to admit it. When a brok’ it off an’ opened me eyes, she were smilin’ wider this time, a genuine smile that metaphorically left me in a fuckin’ puddle on’t floor. A wiped the tears from ‘er eyes wi’ me thumbs an’ grinned at ‘er like a fuckwit, so fuckin’ ‘appy that a dint know what to say. A couldn’t say owt. A were lost for words… imagine that!
Autumn: “Are you going to say something or are we going to keep up this awkward silence? Because it’s kind of weirding me out, du--”
A kissed her again, this time a bit more heat in it, but pulled away again.
Watson: “Ya’ve fuckin’ scared me then love… ya really fuckin’ scared me…”
Autumn: “I’m still scared now. Fucking terrified. But… everything you said in that video, everything you told Kandis, it… it’s true. Me and you. It was always me and you against the world, and… it’s still you Ryan.”
Watson: “It’s still you… always were an’ always will be, no matter what I ever teld me self otherwise…”
She grinned.
Autumn: “You’ve been a fucking idiot…”
Watson: “I am a fuckin’ idiot…”
Autumn: “No arguments from me…”
She grinned so fuckin’ broadly, that even though she were still cryin’, it dint make a bit’a difference. An’ she weren’t on ‘er own, either, ‘cause a must’a looked like a grinnin’ idiot me self.
Autumn: “Never fuck it up again. I fucking mean it dude, never do this to me again, I can’t take it a third time…”
Watson: “Never. Ya stuck wi’ me love, ‘till death do us part, remember?”
She laughed at that, pushin’ up from the bed so she came darn to my level, an’ practically collapsed into me, ‘er ‘ands clingin’ to me neck as a took the weight an’ sat back.
Autumn: “This is fucked up, this is so fucked up. It’s going to hurt people and it’s going to be so hard for us for a while, you know that right?”
It weren’t ‘ard to figure out what, or more accurately who she were talkin’ a’bart, but a weren’t even gonna worry a’bart that anymore. After seven years, seven years full of some great an’ some ridiculously shitty times, things were how they should be… how they should’a been over those seven years, an’ a weren’t lettin’ anythin’ get in the way’a how euphoric a were feelin’ in that moment!
Watson: “Me an’ you against the world love, an’ fuck anyone who gets in’t way!”
Autumn: “No, Ry, seriously… this is gonna-”
A placed a finger over ‘er lips, a dint want to go over that shit, not in that moment anyroad…
Watson: “Not now love. Eventually yeah, but not now. Am not lettin’ anythin’ take the shine off this moment babe…”
After a second, she just nodded ‘er ‘ead an’ a took the finger away. Not that it’d ‘ave taken much effort for ‘er to talk if she wanted to, but a guess the ‘ead in the sand approach were good enough for ‘er, at least for one night anyway. Instead we both just grinned at one another for several seconds, before a brushed the hair out’a her face.
Watson: “A love you, Mrs. Watson…”
Autumn: “Stop calling me Mrs fucking Watson, dude! I… we… wait…”
Penny’d clearly dropped…
Autumn: “Fuck. We’re kind of jumping into this in the deep end, aren’t we?”
Watson: “Not half love…though a guess we just took the long way ‘round from when I asked all them years ago an’ you said no, really…”
She thought about that’n for a second an’ laughed.
Autumn: “I guess we did. And I love you too, you fucking idiot… jesus, it took you long enough…”
Watson: “Oh, so now I’m the bad guy for not realisin’ sooner?!”
Autumn: “You’re an asshole for it, yeah. But my asshole, so it’s okay…”
An’ that right theer pretty much summed everythin’ up in a nutshell really, dint it? After all this fuckin’ time, everythin’d come full circle an’ were how it shouldn’t been in’t first place, everythin’ were what it should’ve been from years ago. Everythin’ in between, good an’ bad, it’d all lead us to this point in time an’ for better or worse, the chips had fallen now. An’ as far as a were concerned, my number’d come in an’ ad taken ‘ome the jackpot. An’ no matter what were gonna ‘appen as a result’a this, it were all gonna be worth it, ‘cause wrongs were righted an’ mistakes made up for… an’ if nowt else, there were no way a were gonna get deported for it bein’ a fake marriage anymore, that were for fuckin’ sure! Am jokin’ a’bart that obviously, but it’s weird to think that in one conversation, a transitioned from bein’ in a sham marriage to get a green card to legitimately bein’ a married man. Me. Am actually a married man… an in that moment, before things progressed a bit further than am prepared to describe to you twats beyond a kiss an’ a cuddle… it dawned on me that it didn’t really feel strange at all. It felt like it were always that way… a just needed a kick up the arse to get me to realise it. Guess a’ve got a debt to repay to Kandis in’t near future, eh? We both do, me an’ Autumn… am sure we’ll think’a summet though, eventually…
There were summet a little bit awkward a’bart dressin’ the backdrop of Autumn’s home recordin’ studio for not just me first promo for one’a me own matches in around two years but me first match in SCW for about six, not ‘cause it were generally awkward, but for the way a were dressin’ it. The backdrop were usually pretty plain for Autumn’s videos, just some single colour curtains hangin’ behind where Autumn would stand in front’a the camera, no frills more or less… but that weren’t ever gonna fly for me, were it? A mean, it could, yeah… but as soon as a decided a were gonna take a crack at enterin’ the battle royal at Takin’ Hold’a The Flame for only the second time in all the years a’ve been associated wi’ the company, a knew what a needed to do.
It took me a fuckin’ age to find it, ‘cause despite havin’ moved out’a the place that a co-owned wi’ are Tom, a still had some stuff stored in boxes in the garage an’ a even ‘ad some stuff in boxes in the loft at me mum an’ dad’s shack in Beverley Hills, so combinin’ the two wi’ the stuff that were now kept at Autumn’s place, it were a bit of a ball ache to find it, but when a did… well, it were like windin’ back the years, it really were. The Union Jack banner that a had custom printed wi’ the Infamous logo over the top’a it were a mainstay’a pretty much every promo a cut for me first run before a fucked me knee up, an’ if this were gonna be a one an’ bust type’a deal then a knew it had to make the same return a were makin’. An’ when it were finally hung up across the backdrop, it were weird, but it were almost like a were back where a belong, despite the fact a’ve been in SCW wi’ Autumn as her manager for a while nar. It just felt right, basically; it took me back to where I were a good few years back but also reminded me how far ad come an’ all… plus, it were pretty fittin’ considerin’ some’a the stuff a were plannin’ to say, so all in all a saw it as a win all round.
Autumn: “You do realize you’re a surprise entrant, so this won’t air until after the pay per view’s come and gone, right?”
Now a know a’ve got summet of a reputation for not bein’ one’a the sharpest knives in’t drawer, which’s bin carefully cultivated over the years – lettin’ an opponent underestimate ya is never a bad thing, believe me - but seriously, sometimes a wonder if people’ve got any faith in me whatsoever when it comes to makin’ decisions about various facets of me life, an’ Autumn askin’ that question just kinda went to prove that a were rate to wonder if anyone actually thought a were capable’a rational thought in any way shape or form. Ad be insulted, but a were used to it by nar…
Watson: “Wait, fuck, really?”
A were layin’ the sarcastic on pretty thick, ‘cause ask a daft question an’ get an arsey reaction…
Watson: “Well shit, that throws all’a me plans art the window nar love, what the fuck am a gonna do?!”
Autumn: “Well excuse me for trying to help…”
Watson: “Nah, seriously, what the fuck am a gonna do nar? Fuck, a might as well just take the backdrop down again an’ just go for a beer instead…”
She just flipped me the bird at that an’ a couldn’t help but chuckle.
Watson: “Jokin’ aside, a know it wain’t love, but that ain’t the point. Am out’a practice an’ a’ve got all these thoughts runnin’ through me ‘ead, an’ no amount’a sparrin’ wi’ you or Kandis is gonna ‘elp process that stuff so a figured fuck it, let’s do one’a these anyway an’ see if it ‘elps me focus, ya know?”
Autumn: “I thought most guys just jerked off to help themselves focus?”
Watson: “Well, a can do if ya want love, but a dint wanna make a mess…”
A pretended to start goin’ for the button’a me jeans, an’ Autumn were wavin’ ‘er arms an’ turnin’ away before ad even got the tip’a one finger anyway near the waistband area, almost chokin’ as she tried to tell me to stop. A just chuckled an’ turned back to do one final chest on’t backdrop behind me before lookin’ back at the Mrs an’ noddin’.
Watson: “Alrate love, a think we’re ready to go… you ready?”
Autumn: “As long as you’re not gonna whip out your junk and start going for it dude, I’m fine. If you are wanting to make one of those videos though, you can film it yourself…”
Watson: “Don’t want no Cloud leak scandals hover’ over my career, thanks love. Besides, ain’t it you who specialises in takin’ an’ sendin’ nudes?”
She blushed bright red at that and I was sure there’d be some sort of witty retort but instead she just scuttled off to stand behind the camera, evidently she weren’t over the embarrassment’a that’n yet then. Straightenin’ darn me Spurs top an’ brushin’ a loose strand’a hair outa me face a turned an’ looked up at the wife an’ gave her to nod, read to get the show on’t road.
[[START RECORDING]]
Watson: “So how about this for a headfuck; as a stand ‘ere, am filmin’ this thing in’t past, talkin’ a’bart summet that’s gonna happen in’t future, that you cunts watchin’ ‘ave already seen ‘cause this won’t be aired until after it’s ‘appened… just try gettin’ ya noggin’ around that. I’m a’bart to talk a’bart the battle royal at Takin’ Hold’a the Flame, knowin’ that you twats ain’t gonna see this thing until the show’s been an’ gone… which means you already know I were one’a the surprise entrants before any of this is gonna see the light’a day, an’ that’s difficult to get me head around when ya used to talkin’ about upcomin’ matches knowin’ that these videos go live before the event arrives… fuckin’ mental when ya think a’bart it, but there we ‘ave it. Doesn’t matter in’t grand scheme’a things anyway, ‘cause for past Ryan… me… none’a it’s ‘appened yet, an’ a can do what half the knobs in this business do by just assumin’ a know what’s gonna happen anyway an’ by the time this airs, I’ll either be on holiday wi’ the wife on some beach somewhere or preparin’ for a world title match at the biggest show’a the year, wain’t a? So either way, am fuckin’ winnin’…”
A took a second to take a breath, a dint wanna end up losin’ me’self to poor pacin’, given how out’a practice a were at this stuff, given it’d bin a while since a were last in front of a camera for owt but those few Autumn promo’s a cut for ‘er last year, but before a could say owt else, Autumn spoke up from behind the camera.
Autumn: “You’re fucking winning already dude, you’re married to me!”
A threw up a finger, pointin’ at ‘er from behind the camera.
Watson: “That’s a fuckin’ good point that is, a really am fuckin’ winnin’ regardless’a how stuff turns out at Takin’ Hold’a the Flame, ain’t a? See, fuckin’ logic for ya; there’s plenty’a pricks in SCW who could do wi’ a lesson in that, so let this be a lesson to all’a them wankers!”
Smirkin’, a winked at the camera before getin’ back to business.
Watson: “So am gonna go art on a limb ‘ere an’ say am guessin’ that there weren’t too many’a you wankers who actually saw me enterin’ this thing, right? ‘Who? Ryan Watson? Nah bruh, he’s just that asshole with soccor mom hair that walks down to the ring with that skinny chick Autumn, he’s not a wrestler’, or ‘Duuuude, Ryan Watson is soooo two thousand and eleven, he’s never gonna mean anything in SCW again bro, he’s a has been’…”
Me American accent is fuckin’ terrible, a know this. Fortunately, it’s no worse than any’a the fake British accents an’ stereotypes a had thrown at me over the time a were in SCW an’ a weren’t exactly one to really gi’ a fuck a’bart the feein’s of others anyroad so who cares who it offended…
Watson: “Just imagine that… it were only me thirty third birthday at the start’a this year an’ am already someone who’s viewed as bein’ obsolete as far as this company’s concerned. It don’t matter that a were one’a the most excitin’ talents in the Adrenaline championship division an’ made that belt one’a the most coveted in’t company when a were holdin’ it. It don’t matter that a were also a United States champion for a while either, or that a were… well, that thing behind me make that obvious don’t it, but it don’t matter that a were a part of what were probably one’a the most dominant, most aggressive an’ most controversial groups this company ‘as ever seen, ‘cause the average wrestlin’ fan has the memory span of a fuckin’ gnat! It don’t matter what ya did yesterday, its what ya doin’ today that counts, an’ that’s just one’a the things that makes me sick where you cunts are concerned, ‘cause yeah, on’t one ‘and, we wouldn’t be ‘ere if it weren’t for you tits spunkin’ money at the business left right an’ centre, but if we weren’t prepared to put our body an’ health on the line every week, then what would you fat pricks ‘ave to salivate over or complain about, eh? It’s swings an’ roundabouts as the sayin’ goes. An’ speakin’ a that thing ‘ung up on’t wall behind me, how many’a ya even recognise it, eh?”
“That ain’t no joke either, ‘cause a’ve already said that a think most professional wrestlin’ fans ‘ave the memories of a gnat, an’ let’s be honest, SCW fans ain’t done owt over the years to try an’ prove to me that they deserve to be given any credit for the collective intelligence either, so a genuinely feel like a need to ask that question. An’ now… am gonna explain what it is anyway, so for those of ya who don’t know what it is, you’ll get ya Today I Learned moment for Reddit later an’ for those who do… well, me patronisin’ you sad cunts ain’t nowt new is it, so just deal wi’ it. That right there, hangin’ proudly behind me, is the same banner that I used to hang behind me during every promo I filmed durin’ my first run in SCW before a went an’ got me self injured! A used to hang that thing up in’t kitchen of Lucas Knight’s gaff, back when a live wi’ ‘im, all them years an’ many’a his relationships ago. It were a great time to be part’a this company back then, when us in’t Infamous were basically rulin’ the fooking roost wi’ no cunt who could stop us… never did either; we fucker ourselves over in’t end, which a waint say a weren’t responsible in like, but am not ‘ere to dwell on’t past, am ‘ere to build on it!”
A were never someone ya’d consider a shrinkin’ violet, even in me second run in’t company when a were sorta a reformed character for want’a a better word, but even then, a were never short on confidence an’ the sheer amount’a smugness on me fizzog as a stood theer in front’a the camera then were practically unrivalled. Even Autumn looked a little surprised, standin’ behind the camera watchin’ on, which were sayin’ summet given she were along for the ride durin’ some’a the most arrogant times of me SCW run!
Watson: “That name rate theer…”
Turning, a pointed up at the banner for a brief moment before turnin’ back to the camera.
Watson: “That name written across that beautiful fuckin’ flag, that’s responsible for some’a my most treasured fuckin’ moments in this company! Infamous may be around again today in a stripped down form, wi’ Zoe, Ravyn, Christy an’ a guess CHBK carryin’ the torch, but back in’t day, I did some’a my best work as a member of that group an’ as a said earlier, while a lotta you pricks may have short memories, I sure as fuck don’t! Beatin’ Warren James at Rise To Greatness two thousand an’ eleven was the best feelin’ of my entire career an’ a carried that belt wi’ pride for a hundred an’ eighty two days until finally losin’ it… an’ despite bein’ the underdog at every turn, despite every cunt an’ their mother tellin’ me a weren’t good enough or that a dint deserve to be in’t company or that a were only ridin’ Lucas Knight’s coat tails, a proved a point time after time after fuckin’ time in this company, regardless’a whether people loved me or loathed me! But the backdrop behind me ain’t hangin’ there ‘cause a want to audition for a spot in the new Infamous, even if the wife is friend’s wi’ all three women for it’s current incarnation… nah, am not lookin’ for a renewal to me membership an’ am not lookin’ to simply reminisce on past glories either. That banner is hung up there as a reminder of everythin’ a could ‘ave been an’ weren’t!”
“When a turned up in this shithole, it weren’t like me rise to Infamy were written in’t stars! That ain’t me bein’ arrogant, no matter what ya think, ‘cause two thousand an’ eleven were fuckin’ amazin’ for me in SCW, it just were! A beat that fuckin’ machine Warren James to become Adrenaline champ, a went on a tear winnin’ almost all’a me matches includin’ the one’s against former or future world champs an’ even ended the year by winnin’ Rookie’a the year at the end of year awards. Not bad for a cunt who you tossers at home claimed to despise, eh? But that’s the problem pal, ‘cause while it all started great guns an’ stuff, a reached a plateau in me career an’… well, a never really got beyond it, basic’ly. An’ that’s a tough pill to swallow ‘cause a came into SCW wi’ no shortness of confidence, in fact at times a were the opposite. Way too arrogant or whatever. But a never made it, a never went all the way to the top, did a? Blew me knee out, an’ when a came back, a weren’t the same wrestler a used to be, even if a went on to win the United States championship durin’ that point. An’ it weren’t that a couldn’t wrestle anymore, it weren’t that the injury took it outa me, it just weren’t the same. A tried bein’ summet a weren’t, tried doin’ the right thing an’ that ain’t me. It were fake, it were see through an’ a lost me passion for the business a think, ‘cause a walked away dint a. A quit. An’ a thought that were that, a really did; sure, a dabbled in other places in the three or four years that followed. A went to IWC to be part’a Wicked Intent an’ a gave UWA a crack an all but none’a it compared to that first run I ‘ad ‘ere in SCW when a were part’a Infamous, an’ that’s why that banner’s hangin’ behind me rate nar, not ‘cause am tryin’ to re-live happier times an’ not ‘cause a wanna remind you pricks who a used to be or anythin’ as pathetic as that. Nah… that banners hangin’ there for one reason an’ one reason only. It’s hangin’ theer as a reminder of every single mistake a ever made as a member’a this roster an’ every milestone a never found the balls to chase! Every achievement a never managed to make. Every loss, ever time a assumed a were gonna just win a match an’ dint take it seriously enough as a result. Every time a could’a granned that slippery brass ring we’re all chasin’. Every time a failed!”
A turned an’ took another look at the banner hangin’ behind me, lost in the moment for a few seconds before a discreet cough from behind the camera pulled me back to reality. A turned back around to look at Autumn, grateful for the assist.
Watson: “Maybe it’s ‘cause a were trained by a veritable legend from before the social media age, or maybe it’s just ‘cause am an antisocial twat, but unlike half the attention whores, pathetic pissants an’ drama llama’s in wrestlin’ these days, a’ve never been one for spreadin’ me personal drama over twitter, ‘cause why the fuck would a want you plebs at home to know me every bloody thought at any given moment, eh? A know people only follow stars on social media these days for the drama, for the droppin’a the Tea a’bart each other an’ to find out who’s slaggin’ who off on any given week… but to me, ad rather stick me bollocks in a blender than truly let you intrusive cunts into the inner workin’s of me life, an’ unlike the vast majority, a waint be livin’ me life out on twitter or facebook or Instagram any time soon… it’s bad enough bein’ this open an’ ‘onest in this video, but that’s the beaty a’bart what a were sayin’ at the start’a this video; by the time you fucklumps watch this, the match is gonna be long gone an’ am either gonna be preparin’ for a world title match on sunnin’ it up on a beach somewhere, so a guess a little honesty ain’t a bad things in’t long run, is it? Sharin’ is carin’ as the say… it’s just oversharin’ that makes yer a twat! An’ to be fair… a’ve not got me ‘ead jammed so far up me own arse that a can’t admit that am not happy wi’ the overall picture’a what me career ‘ere in SCW looks like, an’ is that really owt to be ashamed’a anyway? It’s like me old man says; if ya can look back on ya life an’ smile at what ya’ve done, then ya’ve lived a life that’s bin worth it. But what ‘appens if yer do smile, but there’s stuff that flashes through ya noggin? What happens if it’s only half’a smile, or it’s even a frown? D’ya just accept that it is what it is an’ die wi’out ever tryin’ to do owt a’bart it? Well fuck that for a game’a soldiers, am not gonna just let me life pass me by wi’art at least havin’ a crack at rightin’ a few wrongs from along the way!”
“A’ve been doin’ that a fair bit lately, makin’ good on certain things in me personal life, though as a said, oversharin’ makes ya nowt but a fucknuckle so don’t be expectin’ any more details on that stuff than what a just gave ya… but me career? Well, am ‘ere, ain’t a? Am stood ‘ere, in the home studio’a the place a share wi’ be fit as fuck mrs, filmin’ me first video for an’ SCW show in years, ‘cause a figured ad rather be able to look me sen in’t mirror when am old an’ great an’ say at least a tried to right them wrongs than live the rest’a me life wonderin’ what if! An’ a don’t gi’ a flyin’ fuck if ya wanna talk shit a’bart me on social media, talk shit a’bart me to me face if tha wants, a’ve got thick skin an’ a crackin’ right hook, so fill ya boots… but also know this: a drive a Ferrari, feature on national tv every week, get to see me name featured in the history books’a not one but three huge wrestlin’ companies an’ make a pretty good livin’ just standin’ at the side of a wrestlin’ ring, let alone getting’ in one… the fuck ‘ave you chuckleheads done with ya life, eh? Belittlin’ you pricks aside though, this ain’t a braggin’ competition, as much as a fair few people in the business seem to see it as one, an’ a don’t wanna turn it into one’a them either, ‘cause in all ‘onesty, as much as a used to be a cocky little cunt who’d rub anythin’ an’ everythin’ in people’s faced back when a turned up ‘ere in this joint, at this point in me life, what’s to brag about? That’s why am ‘ere… that’s the motivation to try’n do summet a never managed the first or second time a were in SCW as a contracted wrestler, summet a never pulled off. To be part’a that list’a people who’ve won the Takin’ Hold’a the Flame battle royal? To go on to headline Rise To Greatness?! Fuckin’ ‘ell mate, am sure a don’t ‘ave to explain how amazeballs that’d be, ‘cause you’d ‘ave to be a complete numpty not to understand that wi’art an explanation, an’ a wanna give you tossers at least a little credit an’ assume a don’t need to spoon feed everythin’ to ya, rate?”
Quirkin’ a brow, a scoff, wonderin’ if a were givin’ the tosspots at ‘ome a bit too much credit, but ultimately I dint matter anyway did it. Talkin’ weren’t gonna mean much anyway, once that show started an’ we were all waitin’ for our number to be drawn…
Watson: “D’you lot remember… no, wait, who am I kiddin’; attention span of a gnat. Alright, lemme rephrase. Back in’t Infamous days, Christy used t’have this thing a’bart destiny, an’ how she were destined to stand tall as world champion before she were through wi’ ‘er career, it were written in’t stars or whatever… an’ plenty’a people laughed at ‘er for it, especially after the tried to top ‘erself after losin’ to that selfrighteous prick David Helms, but look at what she eventually did. She did it. Won the world title dint she? Christy Matthews, SCW World Heavyweight Champion for fifty two days before losin’ it to Shilo Valiant. She fulfilled the destiny she were adamant that exhisted for her, adamant in the face’a every doubter an’ naysayer that told her she were full’a shit. An’ she weren’t the only’n either. Lucas Knight won it, Ravyn Taylor’s held it twice an’ Zoe… well shit, a don’t need to go into detail a’bart Zoe Sperlin’s reigns as World Heavyweight Champion, do a? A mean, technically, she still holds that title even nar, even if Sienna Swann’s keepin’ it warm as interim champ while Zoe were restin’ up wi’ a few naggin’ injuries. Don’t worry Zoe, a believe yer one hundred an’ ten percent love, an’ am glad ya feelin’ better nah. Welcome back an’ don’t worry, the nonsence’ll be over soon enough when ya beat Sienna. No, actually, ya gonna be champ already by this point ain’t ya, ‘cause’a when this gets released… in which case, a guess congratulations’a in order instead, love! Good job kiddo, welcome back to the top’a the ladder an’ all that jazz…”
“…only that’s where this gets a bit awkward, ain’t it? ‘Cause let’s not beat about the bush ‘ere, am not just lookin’ for a participation medal by steppin’ back in’t ring, am not just gonna lie an’ tell ya that al be happy if a finish in’t top five or get a good showin’ or get some good eliminations an’ all that shite that comes out’a people’s gobs before shows like this’n. Nah pal, if you ain’t in it to win it then why the fuck are yer in it in’t first place?! That were always the attitude a took back in’t day ‘ere in SCW; if you ain’t winnin’ you’re a loser, more or less… an’ as much as a may have grown up a fair bit, as much as a may be a good few years older an’ slightly wiser, I ain’t changed that much, believe me! So aye, it may be a bird a consider a friend that’s holdin’ the World Heavyweight Championship headin’ into Rise To Greatness, but when my music hits an’ a walk out to that SCW ring for the first time in years, am not gonna concern me sen wi’ any’a that shite ‘cause the only thing am gonna be concerned a’bart when my music hits is makin’ me way darn to that ring an’ tossin’ as many people out’a it as a possible can! The Prodigal One, that used to be me nickname, still gets used in marketin’ an’ shit like that… but ‘ave you any fuckin’ idea how it feels bein’ labelled as Infamous’ prodigal son while knowin’ that ya never achieved the same lofty ‘eights as every single one’a ya mates?! That’s summet a’ve ad to live wi’ for years an’ as gobby as I am, as arrogant as the world knows a can be, some stuff just can’t be ignored or explained away! That failure, it eats away at me every… single… day! An’ all the bravado in the world can’t tek away from the fact that am always gonna be seen as the nearly-man until am either six feet under the ground in a two foot wide box or a manage to achieve what a’ve said am capable’a since the day a turned up in this shithole claimin’ to be as great as me own ego made me believe I am!”
A looked beyond the camera for a moment an’ caught Autumn’s expression; it were a mixture of surprise an’ what may just have been sympathy. Am guessin’ she weren’t used to hearin’ this kinda stuff from me, an’ there’s no surprise wi’ that, given the attitude a’ve always been careful to show on screen an’ it weren’t like a were one for self-pity at the best or worst’a times, so she must’a been pretty surprised to ‘ear me admit a lotta this. Tearin’ me eyes away from ‘er again, a looked back towards the camera lookin’ to finish things up.
Watson: “Forty people. Thirty nine other poor unfortunate cunts an’ the Gobshite’a Professional Wrestlin’, each of us vyin’ for that big prize that’s danglin’ in front’a each an’ every one’n us, like we’re fish attracted to that juicy fuckin’ worm on that shiny fuckin’ ‘ook… an’ that’s the problem ain’t it, ‘cause that brass ring, is does hook you, it reels yer in. An’ ya spend all ya time in’t business fightin’ for it, fightin’ against the current, fightin’ against the rest’a the shoal or school or whatever the fuck a big group’a fish is called, just tryin’ to be the one who gets the prize… an’ while am guessin’ a good few’a the pricks in this are gonna be lookin’ for the glory that comes wi’ winnin’ the flame, the prestige’a that don’t mean a fuckin’ thing to me, it really don’t. A couldn’t give a flyin’ fuck a’bart the braggin’ rights associated wi’ winnin’ the battle royal at Takin’ Hold’a the Flame, ‘cause this ain’t about provin’ anythin’ to anyone else anymore, at least not for me… this is about provin’ somethin’ to me, provin’ that a’ve not just been blowin’ hot air up people’s arses for the last eight years, that a really am everythin’ a’ve told people I am since makin’ me pro debut… an’ as far as am concerned, the only way’a doin’ that is by winnin’ the world title in – as much as a hate to admit it an’ give credit where it’s unfortunately due – what’s probably the biggest wrestlin’ company on’t face’a the planet these days! So aye, while a get that people are normally gonna be chuffed to bits to win the flame, f’me, it’s only ‘alf a job done if a do just that! An’ I ain’t no ‘alf’a job Harry, so am not gonna be throwin’ no party’s on goin’ in for them wild celebrations should a win, am not interested in cakes an’ streamers an’ all’a that shit, if or when a win this battle royal… ‘cause if a do? Then the real preparation’s come, don’t they? My name is Ryan Watson, the Gobshite of Pro-wrestling, the greatest professional wrestler to ever come from South Yorkshire – fuck you Tommy Wasley! – but also the greatest failure to come out’a theer too. At Takin’ Hold’a the Flame, that changes. Failure no more, it’s victory or bust. An am fed up of bein’ that nearly man, that guy who did a lot but never did enough. Am goin’ all out at Takin’ Hold’a the Flame, an’ either am goin’ to Rise To Greatness to face Zoe Sperlin’ in’t main event or am goin’ darn in flames in’t attempt. We’ll find out which on June second. Infamy… or bust! Nar fuck off!”
[[STOP RECORDING]]
Autumn took the cue to step forward and thumb the stop button on the side of ‘er camera at that, thankfully pickin’ up on’t verbal cue that a were done an’ me shoulders instantly relaxed, as if the weight were lifted from ‘em that’d been restin’ there since a first stood in front’a the camera at the start’a the video.
Autumn: “Damn, baby… where the fuck did that come from?”
Watson: “Ya not the only’n that’s bottled stuff up over the years, love…”
If anyone were gonna understand that, it’d be Autumn; when we first started datin’ back in two thousand an’ eleven, she were one’a the most private people ad ever met, kept so many secrets an’ never spoke a’bart how she were feelin’ if she could get away wi’ it… she ain’t changed that much even now, but back then she were shockin’ for it, so if anyone were gonna understand, it were ‘er. An’ thankfully, she nodded ‘er ‘ead in understandin’, ‘cause it were gonna mean far less explainin’ for me to do.
Autumn: “Okay, I get that… but I’ve never heard you be so defeatist, dude. It’s usually me that does that, and you’re the one who picks me up again!”
Wi’ the camera turned off an’ ready to hook up to the computer to transfer the footage, she walked over to me as she spoke an’ were standin’ in front’a me by the time she’d finished. Lookin’ darn at ‘er, a shrugged me shoulders.
Watson: “Not defeatist love, just a realist. A’ve done some good stuff, but the question is always gonna be would ya be ‘appy wi’ ya career if ya retired t’morra, an’ if a did retire t’morra, then no, a wouldn’t be ‘appy wi’ what a did…”
Autumn: “But why now? Why the sudden urge to tick stuff off the bucket list now?”
A thought that one were obvious, but apparently it weren’t…
Watson: “Ain’t that one obvious?”
Smirkin’, a slipped an arm around her waist for a bit’a emphasis.
Watson: “This year’s been a’bart figurin’ stuff out an’ makin’ up for mistakes, rightin’ wrongs an’ what not. Only ever ‘ad one problem in me personal life to fix, an’ that’ns sorted nar, which gives me the time to figure out the other stuff…”
Autumn: “Wait, so… I’m kind of the reason why you want to get back in the ring?”
Watson: “Summet like that love, aye. The minute we figured everythin’ out, a knew that everythin’ were gonna fall into place… as for me career, if a don’t win the battle royal then so be it. Maybe it weren’t meant to be after all, but it is what it is. Don’t know wi’art tryin’ though, d’ya?”
She thought about that for a moment before smilin’ an’ a returned the grin before leanin’ darn to kiss her. Maybe this were exactly what a needed to get me arse into gear where me career were concerned. A mean, nothin’s gone rate since me an’ Autumn split up, when a really think a’bart it. When we were datin’, everythin’ were amazin’, both in’t ring an’ art. Admitedly, a fucked me knee up while we were together an’ that weren’t exactly fun times for all involved, but as far as me actual career went, while Autumn were in me corner, everythin’ just went so fuckin’ well. Then we brok up, an’ a returned to the ring an’ it were never the same. Were she a good luck charm? Fucked if a know that, but a can’t ignore the fact that everythin’ did just go better wi’ ‘er in me life than art’a it, an’ now? Well, maybe the time is rate, ya know? Ryan Watson, Takin’ Hold’a The Flame winner… got a hell of a ring to it, ain’t it? An’ Ryan Watson, SCW Heavyweight Champion? Well, that sounds even better still…